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Introduction Text I have always been heavy and probably have only really been at a healthy-ish weight once or twice in my life. I've always viewed myself as a heavy girl and never had any other vision of myself. Now, I want so much more. I know that I can be more than "that big girl down the hall" (something a person at work said, yeah thanks!) and I'm more than letting my weight hold me back from being happy in life. I never want to feel so horrible again in my life. I'm tired of making excuses. I am only stuck being the fat girl if I continue to see myself as such. So I'm here, to live out loud, to lose weight, to be healthy and most importantly to stop letting my weight dictate who I am, who I love and what I do in my life. Update 1/10/13: I changed the background of my page to the image of Lord Ganesha. He is a Hindu god that is the God of knowledge, wisdom and wealth, Lord of success and destroyer of all obstacles. I have lots of obstacles I need to destroy! Starting with my never ending fear that I will never be able to keep this weight off! Update 9/8/12: I reset my ticker today to redirect my focus on the tasks at hand. I've been trying to let go of the past and I am taking this to also include some of my past achievements. It's time to up my game and get rid of the last 35 pounds! Big Goals for the next few months: Say sayonara to the 170's. Complete my yoga teacher training. Hit my goal weight of 145. Change or add one new habit every three weeks for the next 36 weeks. 500 minutes of exercise/movement per week. 12000 steps per day. Fit comfortably in the size 6 pants I own. Do scorpion pose. Be hotter at 36 than I was at 26. And remember that I am worth it, me, little ol' me. Yes, I am worth it.

My goal is to be more mindful in life. It seems too easy to slip into living complacently and forget how to really live. I want to: stop making excuses start making good choices improve my health lose 50 + pounds learn to forgive more learn to love myself unconditionally Update (4/9/12): Held steady last year - now it's time to kick it in gear! I am seeing a weight loss doctor and will be working with a dietitian to lose 53 pounds. Update (9/29/10): I need to lose 66 pounds now and my goal is to do this by my 35th birthday if not sooner! (9/8/12) update The stats: Height 5'5.5" SW: 239 HW: 240+ CW: 179.6(9/8/12) GW: 145 To go: 35 Next big goal: 165 (my drivers license weight!) Healthy BMI: 149

I am currently using Sparkpeople to plan for and track all of my meals. I am a yoga addict and do yoga 4-5 times a week. I am trying to add more cardio to the mix though since while I'm getting stronger, I need to work on that cardio strength. For cardio I spin, run, walk and do various videos.

I am a stressed out teacher in a high risk urban school in Denver. I gained 40+ pounds because I stopped taking care of myself and just spent too much time worrying about work. No more! No job is worth that. So here I am - at the beginning again. And this time, it's different.

"She had never known before how much the country meant to her. The chirping of the insects down in the long grass had been like the sweetest music. She had felt as if her heart were hiding down there, somewhere, with the quail and the plover and all the little wild things that crooned or buzzed in the sun. Under the long shaggy ridges, she felt the future stirring." - Willa Cather

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