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When I first started on Spark it was 2008, and I weighed less than I do now. The trouble was, I was extremely bulimic, and had been for about 28 years.
With the help of Spark, I was able to quit vomiting-which was something I never even thought was possible.
My hope was to quit vomiting, (I also exercised obsessively),lose my excess weight, be skinny and live happily ever after.
Yeah, right.
Of all my addictions, food is the oldest and the root of them all.

Since I quit vomiting, my relationship with food has progressively escalated into free for all compulsive eating.
The obsessive exercise came to a halt after I hurt my back in a car accident and then hurt my knee playing tennis to such an extent that I have been unable to exercise in any way that I used to or want to. I have insurance now so I will get it checked out and hopefully back to normal. I hope to exercise some-right now I walk an hour four times a week-whoo hoo I know. But honestly I think my body has needed a break.

I am currently doing low carb/low sugar diet and for the first time since I can remember my obsessiveness about food has gone away. I would have staked my life on living a low fat life. It just goes to show you, I don't know everything!

Member Since: 10/17/2008

Fitness Minutes: 32,044

My Goals:
I want to have a strong and healthy eating base that is binge/and mostly-sugar free. My new goal is to end eating as an emotional salve and have good balanced baseline eating habits.

I want to be a normal eater. Be recovered from my eating disorder, heal my body image, and love myself. Be happy and healthy.

My Program:
Figure out how to eat normally without binging.
Workout 4-5 hours a week.
Exercise with a healthy attitude and not to compensate for excesses.

Personal Information:
My name is Cindy and I am 51 years old. I have been overweight my whole life, and would really like to figure out how to be a normal eater.

Other Information:
I struggle with depression.

Read More About CINDYT63 - Profile Information moved here. (Updated June 26)

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 Pounds lost: 28.0 
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    Thank you for the blog comments. I love the support from like minded people. We are busting through the games we play with ourselves for sure!!
    2478 days ago
  • v OOLALA53
    If eating the Belly Fat Diet way keeps you from being obsessed with food, go for it. Now, I haven't read all you recent blogs or expereinces, but I wonder, if it was working to keep you from being obsessed with food, why even consider not following it? What's more important than not being obsessed with food? For instance, if you could be thin but would still be obsessed with food, worrying about what you ate, sometimes eating things you felt guilty over or sorry you ate, anxious that you would regain weight, often fearful of an extra bite of food, would you choose that? I'm not saying that's the only option, but if it were... ?

    You don't have to try to answer this soon, or even at all, if it doesn't serve your needs. I just continue to find these issues fascinating. And for some reason, I feel especially interested in wanting to see you healed. You've managed to make it to now expressing yourself as a performer, and that is against the odds in just about any culture. I think you should also get to win against the odds with food. I wish I knew how to speed it up for you, but so far, I don't. But I am still on your side.

    Warmest wishes, dear Cindy!
    2480 days ago
    Sent you a message in your inbox!
    2493 days ago
    Cooking with coconut oil is pretty easy - it handles like any other oil or like bacon grease, but because we tend to associate it with sweet instead of salty flavors it can taste "funny" in some combos. You'll just need try it out to see what you like and don't like. For instance, a lot of people cook their eggs in it, but I though it was gross. It's great for stir fry, with pork or chicken.
    2522 days ago
    :D Yeah, the pants falling off means way more to me than the scale number, which is pretty close to the same spot. One pants size per year works for me. I'll never get below 10 no matter what I do, so that gives me about 3 more years of losing to go!
    2529 days ago
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