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Me 2/24/2012

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5%at a time. How can I achieve this?

I promise to myself that I will track everything. I can make time for myself and I will.

I will follow my eating/workout plans to achieve my goal, when I hit a bump in the road, take a breath and move forward, don't continue to sabotage myself. I will focus on my life and making time for me.

I commit to 90 fitness minutes/week
I commit to tracking within my calorie range daily
I commit to getting to know my team

(below updated March 3rd)
Many years ago, the most adorable baby was born, it was me :) rosy cheeks dark curly hair and big "deer" eyes. I grew up knowing I was smart, if you don't believe me you can ask my grandpa ;) but, I was a chubby kid pre-double digits. when I turned 10, I saw this move on ABC family about a bulemic girl. I saw how thing she was and decided that would be a good idea. I began doing it but also researched what vomit can do to your body if you do it too much. I found out that it's really damaging for your esophagus and more importantly (at the time to me) it can ruin your teeth and I knew I had a pretty smile. I hid it pretty well. No one knew, but I decided I had to do something different.

I began excercising alot. My daddy worked the graveyard shift and my mom was often sick, so it was easy to make them think I'd been eating when I wasn't. I did lose weight and my baby fat as I got into the age of 11 and kept at this for another year until I was 12. big breasts run in my family -_- so by the time I was 12 I was wearing a 32C and in pictures I've seen of my self I was tiny, very tiny waist but my hips were wide. and I looked in the mirror and saw myself as I do now. I saw myself as if I weighed 335 pounds.

It was gross. I was a cheerleader and in track, which meant I HAD to attend certain functions that had food. it made me workout harder. My best friend I'd had since I was 11 at the time began to notice my odd habits. When I was 13 I got my first "long term boyfriend" it was a total of 4 months. Between him and my friend, they decided I needed help, and I got angry with them. So they went to my mom.

that was terrible! They threatened to put me in a hospital! I was 5ft4 and 109 pounds. I insisted that I was fine. That I was smart enough to make my own choices and I wasn't throwing up my food. They gave me a choice, therapy and a dietician or to a hospital where they took care of people like me. I chose the former. I was just not going to be in a hospital.

I gained 20 pounds and it made me extremely emotional. But I stayed at 139 from age 13 until 17. give or take a pound. I worked out a lot but I did eat more often too, I pretty much tuned my dietician out and after my therapist called me a bullsh***ter I tuned her out too. I was on a new anti depressant every year until Celexa made me suicidal (I was also taking diet pills when I was taking celexa). See I moved out when I was 15. So even though I was taking my medicine I was still dealing with how FAT I thought I was. After that incident I just stopped taking everything. I kept eating normal and working out. I started dating my now exhusband. We got engaged when I was 16, set the date for getting married just after I turned 17, I got pregnant 3 weeks before that. It was an accident, condoms don't always work.

But the moment that stick had 2 lines, my world changed. I was so scared and nervous. I had been on my own for 2 years already, but how was I going to tell my mom? How was I going to be a mom, wife, high school student and worker? Suddenly my fat was not important, but all these other things were. I think I saw myself for the first time as I really was. We still got married. I lost the baby :(

I was devastated. ALL working out ceased, my exhusband didn't hurt the way I did. He said "we can always try again." He wanted to try again, I did not. it was the wedge that eventually drove us to grow into different people and directions. Splitting up. I'd gained 100 pounds after I lost the baby and my relationship was over. 4 years together and in 3 years I gained 100 pounds. 239 pounds when it was over. I didn't even care.

Then I did care! I began running as a way to clear my head. I started dating Dan (my guy now) 6 months after my ex and I split up. (He waited 2 weeks I waited 6 months...makes a girl suspicious). Dan's mom was a friend of mine and my ex's but she and I were close too. She was diagnosed with cancer. Her family GUILTED her into moving back to Indiana, saying that she didn't love them or trust them. I had only been seeing Dan a few months and I told him to go back to Indiana too, he wouldn't leave with out me. His mom called me and said she needed her son and ME. She needed a true friend. what do you say to that?

While living in Indiana, a friend of Dan's kept being disrespectful and they ended up getting into a fight, both strong men with strong biceps .... I tried to break it up like a dummy. His friend ended up punching me in the knee three times, full force. I limped for over a year and put on weight during that time. upto 260.

We had a few rough patched and I came to Vegas 5 years ago weighing 260. I found friends who had meth and began doing it as an escape. That was part my life for 2 years and I did get down to 215. But I only did it like 5-6 times per month. So to me it wasn't an addiction. Eventually it became my LIFE for about a month. I escaped. And went to the South where my grandparents retired. I spent 3 years living in the south....alot of drinking alot of food.

I made my way to 290. ugh gross. My sisters wedding was 4 months away I had to lose some weight. I just had to. unfortunately.... my guy cheated on me. I never would have found out. But, he told me, it destroyed what little confidence I had. I have never in my life acted this way. I threw a ceramic cup at his head, I screamed I kicked him I punched him I threw all his stuff on the curb. Then I went out with my friend and got drunk.

In January 2011 I had a miscarriage.... I didn't even know I was pregnant. They put me on Prestiq anti depressant, it was okay. it worked for what it was for. But, my drinking continued and got worse. By my sisters wedding I was 305 pounds. I got pregnant again in August 2011 I found out and had a miscarriage. I felt so sick to my stomach for what my life's become and that I could not even protect my unborn baby because of who I was.
We moved to Arizona to help take care of my uncle and then to Vegas we moved to work. Here I am 335 pounds.

This is how I got here...... somethings gotta change.

Member Since: 1/16/2012

Fitness Minutes: 2,081

My Goals:
Weight Loss for 2012

335-5%=17 pounds gone
318-5%=15 pounds gone
303-5%=14 pounds gone
289-5%=14 pounds gone
275-5%=13 pounds gone
262-5%=13 pounds gone

Total gone for 2012
335-25%= 249 pounds

My Program:

Personal Information:

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