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Introduction Text Fast forward 2019 Ten years ago I began a journey of self discovery that included weight loss of more than 100 lbs. As I prepare to dive once again into self discovery I must consider what worked for my success and what barriers I experienced along the way. I also must consider how I have changed both physically and mentally and how that can impact my journey. Most glaring is my struggle with type 2 diabetes and issues with my general health that have reminded me of my own mortality. From 2009 In January I started my journey by joining a class with Kaiser Permanente that my physician (Dr Chester North) wanted me to take before weight loss surgey. So far it has opened my mind to dedicate myself to self discovery and find out how I can live a happy and healthy life regardless of my size. "Obstacles are those really frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals" Anthony Newman, NFL Player It seems like I just started this thing last week. It was the middle of the school year and I had just started my class. Now my students are preparing for summer and I am looking forward to to some much needed time away from their problems. Sometimes it is emotionally draining working with troubled youth. I started at nearly 600 lbs and now I am flirting with 500. I dont feel like I look a lot different, but my clothes fit differently and I can do things now that were impossible for me to do before. Last month my wife and I calculated my total inches lost and it said 44 total (when you do the complete measurment). I still have a long way to go on my journey, but life adventures dont scare me like they did. I felt really guilty that I couldn't match up with the abilities I had 10 or 15 years ago. I have more of an "I can do that attitude" and a deepset feeling that if I cant do it now it will be awesome when I can. As I transition to summer I am thingking of fun things to do and it is exciting to think about getting back to some of the things I did in my younger days. Some of the before thoughts and reflections: I couldn't imagine going six months without having a regular pepsi touch my lips. The thought of going on even a small hike sounded rediculous. Flying scared the hell the hell out of me. Having to put up with all the seat BS and god forbid I needed to use the restroom. Tying my own shoes was something I hadn't been able to do for a long time. and I felt guilty asking my wife for help. I felt guilty everytime I looked out the window at the yardwork I had been putting off because if I couldn't do it all by myself I didn't want to do any of it. Thinking about going to the fair and walking around didn't seem fun at all. Thinking about riding a bike made me think of the of a circus bear riding the damn thing. I cringed when I thought someone was making fun of my weight or how I looked (now I say F' em, they don't know what I have been through or where I am going) Camping sounds more fun, especially because I can get up off the ground without help. Maybe I could go hunting again next year. I have wanted to get back into coaching. I guess when you look at all these things I can honestly say I am well on my way to my goal of a better lifestyle, and understanding myself better.

they ask for a weight goal... I dont like to put that spin on it because more than weight is changing my lifestyle an understanding myself better.



From McMinnville, Oregon. I am an Educational Assistant and my wife and I are professional foster parents for the Oregon Youth Authority.

I dont know what life has in store for me, but I have to have faith and give myself up to my high purpose and listen to my body and my soul.

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