FIT4HZGLORY
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  • v SHARON10002
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    It's Friday once again, and time to get our check-up from the neck up so we can be ready to enjoy our weekend! I think you'll find that these jokes will be just what the doctor ordered to tickle your funny bone because they're really quite humerus.

    For those of you who are uncertain of the meanings of medical terms, I thought I'd provide a few I've managed to find and decipher for you.

    "Medical Terms for Dummies"

    Artery - the study of fine paintings

    Bacteria - the back door to the cafeteria

    Catscan - searching for the missing kitty

    Cauterize - managed to made eye contact with the nurse

    Enema - Not a friend

    Fester - quicker than someone else

    Fibula - a small white lie

    Nitrates - Rates of pay for working the night shift; normally more than the day rates

    Outpatient - a person who has fainted

    Urine - the opposite of "You're out!"

    Vitamin - What you do when friends stop by for a visit

    I hope these haven't been so upsetting that they've made you nauseous.
    If so, lay down, take two aspirin, and call your doctor in the morning.

    Enjoy your weekend!
    1 day ago
  • v SHARON10002
    Just dropping by to say emoticon , and say thanks for dropping by my page to say Hi, and leaving your note. Hope you are having a good week! emoticon
    9 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    It's Motivational Monday, and the beginning of a new month . . .

    A - Amazing opportunities are coming into my life.
    P - Positivity is my daily mantra.
    R - Relish the moment.
    I - Infinite possibilities are available to me every day.
    L - Letting go of beliefs that no longer serve me lightens my load.


    A - All my challenges only make me stronger in character.
    F - Flexibility becomes my body.
    F - Fabulous things are happening to my body.
    I - I am blessed with abundance in all areas of my life.
    R - Rest and relaxation help keep my body in blance.
    M - My happiness increases day by day.
    T - Tranquility feeds my soul.
    I - I Am (insert your choice of word(s) here)
    O - Opportunity comes readily to me.
    N - Nothing will bother me today.
    S - Start each day with a positive affirmation.

    Here's to a good month for us all!
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    11 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    Happy Friday! Love is in the air! They say "love is a many splendored thing", and so I thought it might be a-propose for some Valentine giggles about marriage to get ourselves in the right frame of mind for the weekend ahead. Believe me, this was no half-hearted project for me; I put my whole heart into it! I know you're getting excited, and can heartly wait, so let's get pumpin' . . .

    emoticon After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
    The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't even notice.”

    emoticon A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: It read: “Wife wanted”.
    The next day he received hundreds of letters.
    They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.”

    emoticon If a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    emoticon "I married Miss Right. I just didn't realize her first name was Always."

    emoticon A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

    emoticon A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, Honey, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?"
    Her husband replies, "Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades."


    emoticon After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies.
    "You go first", he said.
    Mine read, “Be quiet for a little while.”
    "Now it's your turn", I said.
    His read, “Talk while you have a chance.”

    emoticon My wife just nudged me and said, "You weren't even listening, were you?".
    I thought, That's a strange way to start a conversation. . .

    emoticon An interviewer asked a married couple what their secret was to their long and happy marriage.
    The husband chimed in, "My wife and I always compromise."
    "I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me."


    emoticon Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office.
    A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.
    As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
    When he saw me, he shouted, “Are those potato chips?”

    I hope some of these made you laugh wholeheartedly! emoticon

    I heartily wish each of you a very Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy your weekend!
    64 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    Happy Friday! It's been a ruff week here. Time to sit down with your cuppa coffee, tea, or whatever, and get your Happy On. I hope your week wasn't too ruff with all the snow and storms. I've been working like a dog all week, and I'm hoping that this week’s dog puns will make you howl with laughter! I can honestly say that I've barely scratched the surface, but I think I found a few wieners for you. Kindly hold your appaws until the end please . . . Here we go!

    We named our dog Rolex because he’s a watchdog.
    He just sits there and watches. . .

    What did the Dalmatian say as its owner scratched its neck?
    Ahhhh . . . yeaaah, that's it! That’s the SPOT!

    I named my new dachshund puppy, Oscar.
    After all - he's an Oscar wiener dog.

    What happens when you cross a rooster, a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle?
    You get a Cockerpoodledoo.

    What’s a dog’s favorite food?
    Any thing that’s on YOUR plate.

    What do you call a frozen dog?
    A pupsicle.

    And here's today’s tip and closing thought for the day:
    Never take your dog to the flea market.

    Enjoy your day, and have a great weekend!
    71 days ago
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