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Introduction Text Highest Weight: 2001 - 310 lbs. Start Weight: 1/2009 - 273 lbs Current Weight: 12/2/2016 - 195lbs Current weight: 163 ....................... "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson MY STORY (a bit long) I have been overweight all my life. I was a chubby baby and an overweight child, I weighed around 160 pounds in middle school and 190 - 198 throughout high school. My family did not live a healthy lifestyle and therefore I did not either. We ate hamburger helper for dinner with ground beef you had to drain soupy fat off of, we always had chips and snack food and soda in the house but never had any fresh fruit or vegetables. We were really low income with 6 kids and I guess my parents tried to stretch there money... but in the wrong ways. I never exercised, I only watched TV, I couldn't run or do a push up but to this day I can quote a Disney movie line for line. I got in a really bad relationship my senior year of high school and went through alot of mental abuse from my boyfriend over the course of a year... I also did quite alot of drugs (mostly pot resulting in munches) and drank bourbon or vodka every day to the point of blacking out most of the time. I gained over 100 pounds in that year and my self esteem all but vanished. My highest weight was 310 pounds when I was around 18. I worked for years to lose it trying one fad diet after another, going up and down up and down but I could never lose more than 10 - 15 pounds at a time and could never keep it off. I married a few years out of high school... someone eles who did not treat me well, someone who never really loved me, another bad relationship. We lasted four years, had a baby and then we divorced. My weight stayed between 250 and 280 for the next few years, I met my current husband, we married and then we had a baby. That was in November 2008. By this time I had tried Adkins, diet pills with ephedrine, diet pills without ephedrine, fat blockers, slimfast, the carb addicts diet, weight watchers, low fat, low cal, ect ect, but would only lose a few pounds at a time or not any at all.... by the end nothing seemed to work and it seemed like trying a diet for 2 weeks and then eating everything in site for a month had stopped my metabolism in its tracks. Right before I got pregnant with my daughter I read a book - cant remember the name unfortunately - it focused on looking at why you ate, when you ate, and what emotional and environmental thing triggered your eating. It had you write down everything you ate and what you were feeling at the time and what you were doing at the time... I really started to look at why I was doing this to myself and what set me into the frantic I have to eat everything in sight rage I would get in sometimes. I think when I read that book something clicked and I think I would have been really successful after that... but I got pregnant a month into it. I had a healthy pregnancy... as healthy as someone obese could have.... no problems and I only gained 20 pounds! (I gained 70 when pregnant with my son by eating brownie and cheddar ruffle sandwiches) I had my little girl in November 2008 and went through a bout of really bad post pard depression. I went throughout the holiday season eating everything in site. I must have ate 5 dozen Christmas cookies and every two days I was sending my husband out for a gallon of eggnog. I gained all the weight I had lost having the baby back, plus some. By New years day 2009 I weighed 273 pounds. I couldn't put my pants on standing up. I could not shave my legs in the shower because I would get out of breath. I was having problems reaching to wipe when I went to the bathroom! the only size pants I could fit into was my size 3x maternity pants... which I am assuming is about a size 26 in regular jeans. Major alarms where going off. I did not feel good physically or mentally, I couldn't keep up with my 4 year old son and I was not a good role model for him or my newborn daughter... Both of her parents were obese... both of my parents were overweight as well... I was condemning my children if I dident change myself and our family. I started counting calories but quickly pulled out my weight watchers stuff I had from when I did it before and switched to points. It was easy to keep track of. I decided that I need to exercise because that was one thing that was missing whenever I tried to lose weight in the past. I stared just walking in front of the tv for 30 minutes a night to get into the habit and then started doing workout videos, later I got my elliptical. I joined ww meetings a month later after losing 13 pounds on my own. I went to meetings for a few months but they were expensive and I dident really feel like I was getting much out of them besides accountability. I was journaling on live journal and in a post about how I was quitting weight watchers meetings (THE_NEW_ME_24) suggested I join spark people to keep my accountability up. I signed up for spark people and at first it was a little overwhelming, there is so much to do and so much information. After a week I was a pro though and loved it. I even went through the spark plan and all the steps, and even though I think I had adopted most of the lifestyle changes already I think it helped move me forward even more... The one thing I love the most is everyone is here is so supportive, when Im having a bad day or need some advice there is always someone here to lift me up and push me forward closer to my goal. I kept going for a whole year... the months really flew by actually. I hit a few plateaus and the old me would have quit but the new me dident. I told myself this would take a long time, maybe years but as long as I kept doing what I was doing the weight would eventually come off. I never let myself quit, even when I had a bad eating day I dident throw in the towel, I would workout and then have something to be proud of and move on to the next day. some weeks I lost 2 or 3 pounds... some weeks I only lost half a pound.... some weeks I gained. Overall though the trend was down and I kept going. I lost 70 pounds in my first year. I had gone from a size 3x maternity pants to a size 18 pants. (the size I wore in high school) I felt better physically and mentally but after the year point I was having a bit of trouble adjusting to the change. when I looked in the mirror I dident really recognize the person looking back at me and it was a bit scary, expecially for someone who has never really known a healthy weight. I was aproaching something I had never known, diving into unknown waters. I did alot of reflecting in Jan 2010 and dident lose much weight at all. I took some time to think and then desided it was time to move on and time to accept this new me and the me I would become in the next year. Then I started losing weight again. I am now on the second half of my journey, I plan to reach my goal of a healthy weight by the end of 2010. I switched from points over to counting calories with the spark people nutrition tracker and its working really great for me now. I have gained so much in this past year... I have rebuilt what was broken by others and found a person I really never knew was there, a whole brand new person. At 28 years old I am still finding myself but I know by the time I am 30 I will be the person I always should have been and I will know who I am... happy, confident and healthy. I never really thought I could do this... but I have accomplished so much and now I know that I can and will reach my goals. All it takes is time, patients, faith in yourself and not quitting. Update: pretty much kept my weight off for 7 years now. Gained some back but joined TOPS which has been a great support system and was able to get back to my goal. :) .............................................. "Don't take a clock on this journey take a compass. It's the direction you're moving in that matters, not the time it takes you to get there." ~ Anonymous

*drink enough water *work out each day *track all my food *stop nibbling!!! *get enough sleep maintain goal weight

smaller portions track calories exercise Never give up

Name: Jessica Age: 35 years old Height: 5'8 Occupation: Mom of 2 & fine arts student

movies: Mostly fantasy, documenterys, some comedy, horror, chick flicks, action... TV: desperate housewives, food network, hells kitchen, bones, so you think you can dance, house, travel shows, Biggest Loser hobbies: art, crafts, cooking, photography, world of warcraft Music: New Rock, Indie & emo Books: Harry potter set, The golden compass set, Twilight set, Lord of the rings set, VC Andrews books, Jane green books, Self Magazine, Better homes and gardens magazine, Health Magazine, All You Magazine

Add a Link "What would you attempt, if you knew you wouldn't fail?" "Don't take a clock on this jounrey take a compass. It's the direction you're moving in that matters, not the time it takes you to get there." ~ Anonymous "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - MLK Jr.
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