REDSHOEBLUE
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  • v SHARON10002
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    Happy Friday! Love is in the air! They say "love is a many splendored thing", and so I thought it might be a-propose for some Valentine giggles about marriage to get ourselves in the right frame of mind for the weekend ahead. Believe me, this was no half-hearted project for me; I put my whole heart into it! I know you're getting excited, and can heartly wait, so let's get pumpin' . . .

    emoticon After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
    The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't even notice.”

    emoticon A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: It read: “Wife wanted”.
    The next day he received hundreds of letters.
    They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.”

    emoticon If a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    emoticon "I married Miss Right. I just didn't realize her first name was Always."

    emoticon A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

    emoticon A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, Honey, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?"
    Her husband replies, "Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades."


    emoticon After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies.
    "You go first", he said.
    Mine read, “Be quiet for a little while.”
    "Now it's your turn", I said.
    His read, “Talk while you have a chance.”

    emoticon My wife just nudged me and said, "You weren't even listening, were you?".
    I thought, That's a strange way to start a conversation. . .

    emoticon An interviewer asked a married couple what their secret was to their long and happy marriage.
    The husband chimed in, "My wife and I always compromise."
    "I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me."


    emoticon Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office.
    A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.
    As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
    When he saw me, he shouted, “Are those potato chips?”

    I hope some of these made you laugh wholeheartedly! emoticon

    I heartily wish each of you a very Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy your weekend!
    57 days ago
  • v MAJORMOM7
    emoticon on getting first place in spark points this week
    61 days ago
  • v GODS-PRINCESS
    emoticon Thank you for reading my blog. I am so happy you like it! Your comment about the pub makes me laugh!
    66 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    It's Friday, and with much of the country having snow this week, I thought you might appreciate some winter jokes. For those of you who live in the Northern states, I know that winter is snow problem for you.
    By now, all of you snow how this works - You read . . . you laugh. However, if you don't like them, please don't give me the cold shoulder.

    Why do bees stay in their hives during the winter months?
    'Swarm

    A wife texts her husband at work on a very cold and icy morning. . .
    "Windows frozen, won't open."
    Her husband types back:
    "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
    Wife texts back five minutes later:
    "Computer is really screwed up now."

    What do you call a hacker stuck in his house during a winter blizzard?
    Edward Snowed-in

    Yup, ol' man winter paid us a visit. This morning I had to scrape the ice and snow off my windshield. I used my supermarket's loyalty card. I only got 10% off.

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Icy.
    Icy who?
    Icy another snowstorm coming!

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Accordion.
    Accordion who?
    Accordion to the weather report it's going to snow again tomorrow.

    How do snowmen get their email?
    On the winternet.

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Noah.
    Noah who?
    Noah good joke about snow?

    And finally . . . Thought for today
    East or West, home is best.
    There's snow place like home . . .
    Especially when it's snowing!

    Thanks for stopping by, enjoy your weekend, and stay cool!
    71 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    It's Friday, and time for some laughs. Lately, the Friday Just for Giggles have become quite a big dill around here, but I doughnut want to taco 'bout it. However, I yam relishing the positive feedback, and I'd give a penne for your thoughts. . .

    I hope you find these puns quite a-peeling because they are all "injest".

    I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
    One day I hope to become a bouillonaire.

    I'd love to be shipwrecked on a dessert island.

    Heinz recently improved the taste of its tomato sauce.
    The rest of the food manufacturers were left to ketchup.

    I knock on the door of the refrigerator before I open it; just in case the salad's dressing.

    I was going to share another vegetable pun, but it was too corny.

    And last, but not yeast . . .

    Green vegetables give me gas. We're talkin' kale force winds.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
    Thanks for dropping by my page to say Hi with your notes and goodies.
    They always add a smile to my day.
    78 days ago
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