SPARK-VICKI
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Me, Chris, & Bob: the two men in my life


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Jan. 22, 2020-UPDATE

Over the last 40 plus years I've been on numerous diets and lost a huge amount of weight. And until menopause hit, I managed to keep most of it off. But once menopause hit, and it hit me HARD, all bets were off. In the course of a little over a year I gained 100 lbs., and then over the next 10-11 years I gained another 34 lbs, making my all time high of 274 lbs. It's taken me 2-1/2 years to lose 41 lbs. and I still would like to drop another 40 lbs., just to feel I'm in a healthier weight range than I am now.
In the first 30 years of dieting, I went about it in a very unhealthy way, and developed an eating disorder that took me years to break away from (bulimia). But all I cared about at the time was getting the weight off, no matter what I had to do to do it. But I finally broke the habit of bulimia for the most part, but find it very easy to fall back into the outer lines of it if I'm not careful. Things like using fluid pills to help me get the weight down. Unless they are doctor's orders, no one should use fluid pills. It can cause severe dehydration and can bring on muscle cramps and a slew of other things.
I think back to when I first started dieting and even though I was bigger than I should have been, my health over all was good. Extremely good, and I could do most anything I set out to do. And even though I did lose all the weight I wanted to lose, it took very little time for me to regain all the weight plus add on another 25 lbs. to what my all time high had been all those years ago. So in the end, I made a complete circle. And in all those years, not one day has gone by that I was truly happy over how I looked. There was ALWAYS something I could improve on. Thinking about it now just makes me sad.
These days my focus is mainly on trying to just get a little healthier so I can do away with the blood pressure pills. I realized though last night that it's really not my "diet" or "weight" that has caused the blood pressure issues; it's the stress I live in right now, and that's probably not going to change anytime soon. So I've got to come up with ways to de-stress that's easy for me to do. So it's something I'm going to be working on.
Am I going to stop trying to lose weight- NO! But I am going to stop living and breathing diet. I'm going to stop making my size my whole life; worrying about what I'm going to eat or not eat, what movement I'm going to be able to get in each day. All that just adds to the stress level and I can do without it.
From here on out, I'm going to just do the best I can each day to eat in a manner that works best for me, and make the best of each day as it comes. I'm not going to make any long term plans. Just focus on each day and make it as good as I can, and work to bring more joy into my life. When I think about the last 40 plus years, It makes me sad that I allowed myself to put myself thru all that hell just to be under a certain number on a scale. And my health has surely suffered from it. NEVER AGAIN !
Live your life to the fullest, regardless of what size you happen to be. Don't regret years of your life where you tried to be someone or some size you were never meant to be. I wish I had known then what I know now. I would have lived a much happier life.



Member Since: 12/8/2018

Fitness Minutes: 28,293

My Goals:
Take things one day at a time and not make long term goals I may never meet.
To be more accepting of things I can't change.
To have less stress in my life.
To get to a point where I no longer need blood pressure pills.
To be more active whenever I can.
Trust myself more to eat right.


My Program:
No real program. Just trying to eat healthier and have less junk food or high sodium food as they tend to really bloat me plus they raise my blood pressure. Drinking mainly water thru-out the day. Trying to live a healthier life in the best way I can..




Personal Information:
I'm a 63 year old woman, married 23 years to Bob, 76. We live in Florida. I have a grown son, Chris, 44, that I adore.


Other Information:
Written by my son, Chris Nelms

The first thing you have to do is accept who you are, and love yourself for that.
You can never make any change in your life if your happiness depends on that
change, because the fear of failure will always stand in the way. When you sit there
and tell yourself that " I have to do this to be happy", then you will ALWAYS sabotage
yourself for fear of finding out that "No, it turns out that WASN'T what I needed".
So love the person that you are, and accept your flaws as just being a part of your
life, and allow yourself to make the changes you want to for your health instead
of for your happiness. Then, and only then, you'll be successful, because even if
you don't reach your goal, you'll still be happy with who you are, and so there's no
way you can fail.




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Comments
  • v 1SANDRA2BFIT
    The harder you work for something, the greater you will feel when you achieve it... Unknown Have a wonderful day 😊
    465 days ago
  • v BARBIEE52
    emoticon emoticon TO REMEMBER emoticon emoticon
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    I laugh to remember that life is for having fun.
    I read to remember that education is good in the long run.
    I smile to remember that some one may be falling in love with me.
    I dance to remember that a free spirit is the best way to be free.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I work to remember that sometimes it's not going to be easy and that's a good thing.
    I talk to remember that everyone should have a distinct personality.
    I love because that's the way I think that I should be.
    I think because that's how I get to that place that is for me.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I give advice because I want to make the world a better place.
    And I listen because it helps people feel like the world is safe.
    So laugh, read, smile and dance to see where life will take you.
    Work, talk, love and think to do the best that you can do.
    Give advice and listen just to help everybody else.
    But never put anyone else before yourself.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    465 days ago
  • v JANIEWWJD
    Thank you for the friend add!!! I have added you as well!!! Have a Happy New Year, and let's keep in touch!!!
    465 days ago
  • v CINDY247
    Thanks for sharing your story, now I understand and I'd do the same! Best wishes!!
    465 days ago
  • v BARBIEE52
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Christmas maybe over, the stockings put away,
    the chocolate and the cookies enjoyed every single day
    Now the New Year's coming, all hurry on their way
    to live their busy lives, no more thoughts of Santa's sleigh.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Although the season's come & go, and Holiday's have their cheer.
    the Spirit of Christ can stay in our heart to warm & bless all near.
    I hope you had a Merry Christmas, full of Christmas Spirit.
    but more than that, will the New Year bring you hope, happiness & love in it?

    emoticon emoticon New Year's is on it's way! emoticon emoticon
    466 days ago