More than Numbers
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Every day I look at the scale and sometimes its down and sometimes its up. But on the overall- its obviously going down. I'm approximately 43lbs from where I started. This is a massive weight loss. More than I have ever lost before in my life. And I've begun to see the greatest 3 indicators of success:
1. People's oohs and ahhhs. I just saw some friends last weekend who I haven't seen in about a year, who were struck by the amount of weight I lost.
2. I fit into clothes (a size 14) which I haven't been able to do since my sophomore year in college (for only one semester). I have been a size 18/20 for the past two years.
3. AND THE MOST REWARDING: My mother has not only signed up to a gym but she is going every day! This is extremely important to me.
But here is the thing: I'm still fixated on the numbers. I can't dream of anything better then being below 200, even if its 199.5. I just want to get over that hurtle. And so on Monday when I weighed myself as 211 I was beaming (with only 12 lbs to lose but then I cut myself slack on Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday I ate 3, (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT: THREE SLICES OF SAUSAGE PIZZA!!). So today when I stepped on the scale I was 213. I knew that the pizza would be at home, I knew that I should get a salad on the way, it wasn't that I even REALLY wanted it, I just didn't get any salad on my way back, because I was illprepared, and then by the time I got home I was hungry and had to eat in a rush.
Anyway, the point is, this whole thing has been wonderful. This morning I do not feel totally discouraged. I went to the gym and busted a move on the elliptical. But the thing is: I need to get my patience back in order as well as my discipline... Because I know that the worst is yet to come: THE PLATEAU.
The closer I get to my first real goal: 180lbs...the slower I am going to lose weight and I need to roll with this. I need to embrace the super slow tortoise speed, eat it up, shall we say. Keep going to the gym, not freak out and stick with my calorie range.
So I am going to take the first step by starting over today. I am going to focus on the success I have made and realize that the numbers do not speak all it is the change that has occurred within me. That got me to the gym in the morning and my mom to the gym for the past two weeks.
HERE I COME GOALS.