I'm afraid I failedIm (again)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I had learned so much from Spark. I did so well. I lost all my weight, took care of myself, made friends, drank water, and look GLOWING.
And then, life struck again.
Honestly, it is a lot to handle in a small brain; A beloved family member basically given a prognosis (at age 37), work piling up, lost so much on the stock market, son going to Middle School, no good schools around, my back is KILLING ME and my car is NO HELP but I cannot change it (how could i when all the money i saved is GONE thanks to the Stock Market), And, honestly- I am just fed up, I am tired.
It's funny, though-
4 Years ago, I felt like the Queen of Kittens- I.WAS.IT
Many people feel that way too- but they succeed.
Not I. I failed
I failed to address my issues with something other than food. or drink
I failed at not keeping track
I FAILED at ===failing, and letting it all come back.
Anyway, this year i will be 35. DREADFUL. I am alone. accompanied, maybe, but alone. I remember me putting a party together when my mom was 35. And now, here I am. Fat (again) living a life that just seems to want to mess with me forever.
I give up. I reckon is a curse. But, I will understand that it is not that life makes of me , but what I make of It.