Starting over? I guess.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Somehow a few pounds have crept up on me...it is quite disappointing being that I was getting so close to my goal. One weekend of visiting the family up north and one weekend of not tracking calories somehow equals a 4 lb. gain? That doesn't really make much sense to me, but oh well. I did eat WAY too much.
I've decided to do the low-carb thing for awhile. Not permanently. I have major carb addiction. I could spend all day eating cereal, oatmeal, pb&j sandwiches, and finish the day off with more cereal and oatmeal. By cutting most of those things...my fav foods of all time...out for the past few days, I am actually feeling great. For protein, I've been eating a lot of fish, chicken, and turkey and I've been eating tons of veggies. The awesome thing is, I'm eating less and feel so much more full than after eating tons of carbs. (I'm not reaching for more food after a meal now.) Hopefully, this will help with my weight loss efforts.
The real goal is breaking 120 lbs. I've NEVER been able to do it. Even as a healthy eater. My body tends to carry weight in the tummy region...which I really hate.
One of my worst traits is this negative self-talk that I do daily. I create my own "body wars" so to speak. Wars are not meant to bring down those on your side; when was it rational to wage war on oneself? It's not rational to wage war against your friends, your family, those you love...yet so many of us wage war on ourselves. I do it almost every day and sometimes every minute of every day. I pick and pull at the parts I don't like. I often find myself in the bathroom staring in the mirror, scrutinizing my stomach, grabbing it all the way around.
This is so sad. I wish I could stop. I am so obsessed with losing this one part of my body, that I begin to lose track of what matters - my accomplishments and my progress!
The key to success is believing in yourself folks. Picking at poking at yourself (like I so often do) will not get you anywhere, maybe just some added depression that will likely make you tired and want to quit.
Now like my page says, I am NOT going to give up this time. I have to remind myself that losing weight is not about waging war on my body. It is about loving my body, praising my daily accomplishments, and most of all - staying patient.
On another note, I am so very nervous about the GRE examination. I have to study the math part like crazy, it has been years since I've had a math class. I will probably to great in the writing comprehension and psychology sections, but for math...eck!!! I hate it. Je deteste la.
Psych 460 is going suprisingly well and if I can ace it, it will look great when I apply for grad school. I had the same problem in high school though, great GPA, low ACT scores. I'm not setting myself up for failure or anything, just sort stating the facts. I really hate standardized tests. They really do not showcase talent, ability, work ethic, or intelligence.
Well anyway, it is 12:15 AM and I am SLEEPY. I have to get up extra early to run and then get some crazy studying done.
Au Revoir mes amies.