Angry girl musings...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
One down, 5 more to go...
Well, maybe 5 more. When all of this first started, my onco said that I was in for 4 more rounds of chemo (Ixempra and Avastin this time). During my appointment today, she said that it could be 6. She is hopeful and I am hopeful. She was very pleased that I have started up walking 30 minutes a day. Little does she know that it used to be a regular part of my life. The difference now is that instead of doing a Leslie Sansone DVD, I am walking up and down the hills surrounding my brother's house -- which is a big challenge. The new chemo drugs can cause damage to my heart, so I am determined to make my heart stronger. I am not giving this chemo or this cancer a reason to beat me up. Like I said before, this may be an "angry cancer," but I am definitely an "angry" girl. I was supposed to be post surgery and doing radiation by now and I am definitely not happy that my schedule has been thrown off.
My friend bought a ticket for me to see Depeche Mode in September and now I am unable to use it. I was supposed to be better and back in Florida by then. I am not a happy girl about that one... Of course, I realize that my health is more important than a concert.
Cancer sucks... My friends are off seeing Duran Duran in parts west of where I am. That should be me. I have written a presentation for the first ever Florida Summit on Childhood Deafness and someone else will have to present it for me. I missed my rental kid's college graduation. My fingernails and toenails have turned some gawd-awful purpley-black color. I'm finally getting hair back and the new chemo will probably make it fall out.
Being with my family during my treatment -- not so bad. I was here for the birth of my second nephew and he continues to grow and change every day. He smiles when he sees me -- and I am a sucker and pick him up every time he cries (well, not every time, but often enough). My bigger nephew enjoys cooking with me on Saturday mornings -- anything that has to do with mashing bananas. We found a new fruit the other day in the grocery store (a black apricot) that WE decided to get so that we could have a tasting. Sometimes, when he is sharing news, he can't decide who he wants to tell first -- and I am in the mix of that. When I am feeling sick, he is quick to give me a feel-better kiss. I am blessed to have this family. I truly am.
Cancer still sucks... I am so glad that I have so many things to offset that. Hey, I got a concert call on Saturday night and got to hear Save A Prayer all the way from California. I wanted to be there. I would have been there. But I have wonderful friends who took me there in their hearts and shared a snippet of the show.
*end of musings*