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Thursday, July 16, 2009
Get terribly horrifically violently sick.
So on wednesday my mom told me she had plans to ride her motorcycle this weekend, and even though I didn;t think I cared (I have seen her ride it since my brothers accident) I ended up sort of obsessing about it which resulted in a BIG FAT FANCY PANIC ATTACK on Thursday. This is the first one ive had in almost 2 years (well full blown one) So I called my mom and one of the docs at her practice called me in the lowest does of Paxil. (I HATE Meds and don;t think I need it but I take it because my mom is worried).I take it Friday around noon and throw up 15 mins later. This shoudl have been my first clue...
Friday night after awaking form my panic attack coma I drive to my parents house so my mom can examine me and make sure I am ok. I take my paxil for the night and go to sleep. Wake up Saturday morning feeling worse than I have in any past I can remember. Nauseuas, pounding headache, shaky, freezing, sweating, lightheaded and barly coherent. I sleep most of the day. Saturday night I accompany my mom to the grocery store because I hadn;t eaten in almost 48hours. I proceed to pass out in the parking lot of the grocery store causing a sceene and ending with me having apple juice and a fast food cheeseburger stuffed in me to raise my blood sugar. My mom consults both the doc who percribed the paxil as well as my cousin who is a General Practitioner they advise her I am creating the sickness in my head based on anxiety. I SWEAR to my mom its not in my head im not even feeling anxious at this point but she calls me in a Rx for phenergan (Nausea meds for cancer paitents) and I go home and sleep for 17 hours, then sunday about 15 more, then monday my mom has had enough.
I attempt a trip to the hospital to have some bloodwork done but return to my house and have to be driven because im too sick. The bloodwork comes back fairly normal, Im anemic, dehydrated, and have a low glucose blood level but these are fairly normal for me. SO.... I decided enough is enough take my own butt to the ER tellign my mom and all the docs in her office to kiss my butt on the way. AND
dum dum dum
All along it was the Paxil that was making me sick, I stopped taking it, feel fine 2 days later, am eating again AND don't feel anxious. I made an appointment with my CBT just to be sure and becaus eI do take my GAD seriously but other than that I HATE Doctors.
**As a side note I am NOT opposed to Paxil or any other antidepresant or anti anxiety meds, However I am opposed to being prescribed them just because Im anxious. I see no reaosn for me to be on an SRRI when I only have full blown attacks every 2 years, If or when it ever became more frequent I would OBVIOUSLY consider doctors recomendation. I just hate how easily they are prescribed when I don;t need them** I fully accept I have GAD but I think after losing both a father and brother to horrific accidents within a couple of years of eachother I have a right to be anxious about death or abandonment just a little.**
For those I have missed I am trying to catch up