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Am I brave for wanting to live?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I had a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine -- someone I have known since Kindergarten. She called to tell me that she bought loads of raffle tickets in support of a breast cancer fundraiser and wanted to let me know that, although she didn't expect to win anything, she bought the limit in my honor (she called today to let me know that she won something, by the way).

Anyway, my friend told me how she thought I was sooooo much braver than she was because, if she had gotten the diagnosis, given the chemo, losing hair, being sick, etc., she would choose not to have any treatments.

Am I brave for wanting to live?

I have to admit. I never, ever thought of it that way. I've put on a brave face sometimes for friends and family, but choosing to have treatment for breast cancer was not really a choice to me -- it was a given. After some more conversation, I hope that I convinced her that choosing treatment to be well again wasn't brave -- it just makes sense -- especially since we are in our 30s and have a lot of life to live.

Makes me think, though...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SAMMY104
    I have battled cancer twice, and am 9 years past. Continue working, because that is what kept me sane. You will make it. Keep up the battle. I understand what you are feeling and going through.
    3927 days ago
  • SAMMY104
    I have battled cancer twice, and am 9 years past. Continue working, because that is what kept me sane. You will make it. Keep up the battle. I understand what you are feeling and going through.
    3927 days ago
  • SAMMY104
    I have battled cancer twice, and am 9 years past. Continue working, because that is what kept me sane. You will make it. Keep up the battle. I understand what you are feeling and going through.
    3927 days ago
  • SAMMY104
    I have battled cancer twice, and am 9 years past. Continue working, because that is what kept me sane. You will make it. Keep up the battle. I understand what you are feeling and going through.
    3927 days ago
  • SAMMY104
    I have battled cancer twice, and am 9 years past. Continue working, because that is what kept me sane. You will make it. Keep up the battle. I understand what you are feeling and going through.
    3927 days ago
  • KATBWIN
    Hey there,

    Brave for chosen chemo? Yes, you were chosen something that you knew was going to make you feel sick (although I don't think you can know how sick you are going to feel until you get there) and going toward an unknown. Yea, it's brave. Staying with the treatment when you are feeling yucky, scared, depressed, yucky and what ever other words might fit the scenerio is brave.

    And yes there is a lot to look forward to from 30 on. Take it from someone who has passed 30 a while ago...There are a lot of fun yet to come. Especially for someone like you - when you enjoy something you really do enjoy it. It was infectious watching you get excited about things - like the next concert...
    :-)


    4009 days ago
  • SEMUSPARK
    I think you are brave Damisa and you inspire me! I'm glad you made the choice to fight cancer!
    4010 days ago
  • TERJEGOLD
    You know, there was one time in my cancer journey when, if I were not a Mother, I would have definitely chosen to stop treatment. i was tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, sick, hopeless, etc. I can honestly say my children saved my life. I chose to embark on that new round of treatments for no other reason than that I had a responsibility to parent my children to the best of my ability.

    4013 days ago
  • LIFE_IS_SO_GOOD
    Sometimes I think people tell us we are brave because they really don't know what to say to us.

    I was constantly told how brave I was, how much courage I had ... blah ... blah .... blah

    The fact is I just wanted to live so i did what I thought I had to do to survive.

    Then again, maybe that's what is brave ... the not giving up and doing what we do ..... who knows :)

    I wish you the best! It's not easy but we do somehow get thru it .... and sometimes we even thrive because of it ....



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    4013 days ago
  • KEYWEST_ANDREA
    I don't understand how someone would just give up and not take the treatments....I know for sure where I would be in that conversation, because I ran through all the scenarios in my mind when I had my scare...You're a tough cookie, Eunice....not one to lay down and just take what is handed to you :)
    4014 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/22/2009 11:35:09 PM
  • CAROLYN0107
    You're right to want life! Keep at it.
    4015 days ago
  • CELLOPLAYER1
    I agree with you I never gave it a second thought about not having treatments. When I found out my cancer had returned I just wanted to know what my treatment opions were and get them started.

    I had friends tell me that they could never go through what I have gone through. I let my family, friends and faith get me through.

    4016 days ago
  • MOM2ACAT
    I know what you mean, I feel the same way when I get those comments.
    I just tell people I'm just doing what I need to do to live.
    Even though my cancer returned, I don't think I would be here today without the chemo I had the first time around. And I plan on sticking around for as long as I can.

    4016 days ago
  • ANTEEKER
    Hi D. I hope you helped your friend realize that you can never give up. I am with you I never thought about not doing the chemo.. Was it awful? Yes Did I get really sick ? Yes
    It is better than doing nothing.. you have to keep trying.. I am glad you choseLife.
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    4016 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/21/2009 6:30:06 PM
  • ASHLEYGRACE3
    I appreciate the honesty in your blog.

    I guess it is hard for any of us to plan what we would do in a given situation until we are faced with that situation. how we believe we may react may end up being the opposite of what we end up doing when faced with that problem.

    I am glad that your decision was not difficult for you and that you are following your heart. people use their heads sometimes too much, and need to follow where their hearts guide them.

    All the best!
    4016 days ago
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