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Staying on Track

Monday, January 04, 2010

Yesterday was a really busy day and a good day. I was on plan on both diet and exercise. I worked all day until 8 P.M. and ate under my carbs and calories.

My son received a call from his dorm mate and best friend from college. This friend referred to me as his second mother when they lived together. He graduated from grad school in September and married a girl he met 2 years earlier, immediately after graduation. Before his marriage he wrote to me and said his parents were against his marrying so soon after graduation and before he got a good job. He wanted me to agree with him and explained that he was young and in love and that this was his sole mate. I commiserated but ended up having to agree with his parents and he was angry with me and hasn't spoken to me since. This is the first time we have heard from him since his graduation and marriage. I wish that his parents and I had been wrong about this but with age sometimes comes wisdom and it sounds like they are really struggling. He is a respiratory therapist but has not been able to find a job. He is working at Wal-Mart and just took a two week class in being a nurse's aide. This kid was from a wealthy family and he had never even used a microwave before or cleaned. My son taught him how to use a microwave and he had to always clean the bathroom as this would gag his friend so I'm not sure how the aide work will go. I feel sorry for kids graduating from college now. There are no jobs here.
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  • SLCB1023
    Sometimes I have found that they just have to figure it all out on their own. We probably were not much different at the same age. We just knew it all!! emoticon All you can do is be there to love and support them and NEVER say I told you so.
    4036 days ago
    They will make it! They have too! and guess what? They are listening more than you think! They just don't like what they are hearing but they know you are right...or they wouldn't have ask you! Things will get better....for all of us! Little kids; little problems! Big kids; big problems! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4038 days ago
    I know what you mean about kids not listening. My friend's kids are grown now and they don't listen to anything anyone tells them. They don't seem to understand that they are trying to get where we have been. My friend's daughter married at 18 or 19 and her husband was 21 i think at the time. They will be married 2 yrs in March and things have been hard. They moved back from California to Georgia and moved in with her parents after being married a little over a year. They just moved into an apartment and she is constantly complaining. I just laugh because I want to say 'I told you so' so badly.
    4038 days ago
  • LLTS01
    It's hard for kids who have grown up during very prosperous times and are not accustomed to hard times. It's a difficult lesson to learn. We all did one way or another. Those life lessons are hard to transfer.
    4038 days ago
    Those youngsters seem to think that they have everything figured out. Guess they just have to figure out that we have made our share of mistakes as well.

    We were just talking tonight about wishing we could go give our 18-year-old selves a few things.

    4038 days ago
    I feel so badly for those who work hard to get through school and are unable to find jobs. I spent time cleaning houses, working at Wendy's and a couple of local factories to get through college, but was fortunate enough to be able to find work in special education post graduation. Of course, that was 12 years ago, too!

    Great job staying on track!!
    4038 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    Life is not always easy and being a parent is HARD WORK. No matter how old they are.

    I know you will make the right decisions.

    Happy Healthy New Year & New You!

    4038 days ago
    It sure is a tough market. My daughter graduated from college in 2007. Then she went to Film School in La for a year. We are still supporting her as she has only been able to get seasonal work during holidays. It's been pretty tough on us but there are no jobs here in FL either. : (
    4038 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4720056
    Hey there. Great job about staying on plan with your exercise and eating! Sounds like you are off to a great start for the year!
    It is good that your son's friend made contact with y'all. He realizes how special good friends are. Sad that things aren't working out any better for him. I know what it is like to think something will happen, but to hope you are wrong.
    4038 days ago
    Money is hard on a relationship. Hopefully when they get their heads above water again they will be doing better. Walmart helps a lot of people down there get by. Scott worked at Walmart in Murphysboro. There were a lot of ppl working with him that had to drive 30-40 miles 1 way to work there.
    4038 days ago
    Oh, boy...poor kid. But good for you, for having been honest with him from the start. I hope they manage to make it. I feel so sorry for any young couple starting out in this economy. The frustration from that alone - and the impoverished job market - could really pile on to a young couple's efforts at learning to get along with each other. I almost feel a little guilty that it was sooo much easier back in my day... You're a sweet friend, though - and a good one! - Susan
    4038 days ago
  • JUNEBUG1944
    Glad you're on track! It is rough for the kids today and many others. What, did he think his wife was going to be his maid...lol!
    4038 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4035863
    Glad you are starting the year off with good diet and exercise days. Keep that up!

    Unfortunate than your young friend is struggling but we learn from our struggles. As long as he is committed to his wife and marriage things will eventually work out. It sounds like he is taking positive steps to get a better paying job. Hope it all works out for him.
    4038 days ago
  • RKING4
    Well, good luck to him in his job search. He graduated from graduate school and can't find work? That's probably understandable in this economy but I'm surprised that a respiratory therapist can't find work. I guess "it's bad all over."

    Your son's friend may well be headed in the right direction, though.

    My niece graduated from college at the end of summer and couldn't find a job. She took a low paying job that a recruiter emailed me about but I didn't want because the pay was less than I'm getting on unemployment. My niece had a positive attitude and kept searching for a real job for which she could use her degree.

    Finally she landed a great job starting at 60K. She will have to move over 200 miles away but that's okay because one of my brothers lives there and she can stay with his family while she's getting established.

    Even though your son's friend is working at a level beneath his training and abilities, he is still working and working in the medical field. Good things may well come his way when the economy gets going again. He's young enough to weather the storm as long as he keeps his eyes on the ball.

    Now, me, I'm another story. I've only a decade left to work and I can't find anything yet.

    As far as young marriages so, I don't believe in them either. My son was only a 21 year old airman and headed to England on a three year assignment when he and his girlfriend wanted a quickie wedding so she could go with him. I liked this girl very much but I was against such a hasty wedding. My family and I convinced them that they should wait and have a proper wedding the next year. In the meantime, they could take the pre-cana class with the parish priest via conference calls. They did get married the following summer and she moved to England with him. They spent another two years there. After his discharge, they moved to Seattle.

    They will be married five years in June and so far so good. They put off having children so they would both be able to establish themselves in their careers. Now, I think it's time they think about making me a grandmother but that's none of my business.

    Some times these young marriages work; some times they don't.

    My husband and I married in our late twenties, stayed married for 22 years and then caput .... Go figure.
    4038 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/4/2010 1:37:19 PM
    Congrats on staying on plan. So sorry to hear about your son's friend. I too got married way to early and it only lasted 8 years before we figured out that we were not really right for each other. We loved each other but didn't have similar goals in life. Hopefully he and his wife will find strength in their struggles and beat the odds. Wishing you a very happy start to the New Year:-)
    4038 days ago
    That is too bad! I hope their marriage survives the rough times. If the economy and the job market keep up this way, we all might be better off pursuing the self-sufficient life.
    4038 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5927538
    Wow, that is sad. My daughter graduates from high school this year and is planning on going to college. It saddens me that she will put the time and effort into this but may not be able to reap the benefits. Hopefully your son's friend will be able to find a job soon. I agree with Amy, he may need to expand his job search if he hasn't already.
    4038 days ago
    It is a tough job market...i hope my daughter can get a teaching position.
    4038 days ago
    WOW..sorry to hear that...I am a respiratory therapist....and years ago...jobs were in demand.....now a days....not so much...good luck to him.....has he tried the surrounding areas....sometimes you may have to travel for a job...I travel 45 -60 mins for mine...........

    4038 days ago
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