Change has gotta come!!!
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Well, I have to come up with a goal to change something. This is difficult due to the fact that I am constantly working on change. I am always online reading what I need to do and then I start to make the adjustment. The problem is the permanence of that change. That is what intrigues me about this challenge or goal. I notice that lately, I am ordering diet soda whenever I go somewhere. I also notice that I am eating out more than normal. I also struggle to go to the gym and work out with enthusiasm. I lack the energy to pursue this change that I want to happen (weight-loss). Can increase of enthusiasm be a goal? My energy level is at about -5. I FIND IT HARD TO GET UP. I am simply going through the motions.
Am I depressed? Am I discouraged? What is it?
I take a multi-vitamin, I drink water, I go to bed early, I journal everything, I plan my meals (they are boring) but they are the necessary food groups in the portions required. But, then I binge-is it out of boredom?
Perhaps I need to adjust my attitude. Can I simply eat this way forever. Maybe, I need to go to a professional. I know I'm not crazy-but I find myself thinking about food all of the time. I should not be doing that. Maybe I need a hobby-I love to shop- but have no money at this time. So, that's out. I don't like exercise even though I go to the gym. My workout truly lacks luster. I love going to movies (but, that's no fun without popcorn) It sounds like I'm making excuses-but I'm being honest. Oh, I digress. I guess my goal should be to get a better attitude or else I'm gonna fail for sure. OK, how do I measure my attitude? Maybe, graph my daily feelings. What can I do to adjust my attitude? Hmmmmm! I really, don't know-oh well, something to ponder.
I'm at the point in this journey when I feel all out of ideas-'cause I've tried them all. I'm not trying to discourage-Just venting I guess.
Ok, back to the goal thing-I will not drink any more soda. (Diet or otherwise) That's measurable and easy enough to do.
Sorry for the round about rambling- Thanks for a place to do it though-LOL!!