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Ramblings, life sucks...

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

First off, I've been doing Jillian's 30 Day Shred for about 8 days now. I did 5 days of Level 1, had a day off (just too tired), then I decided I wanted to switch it up, as I was getting bored of the same ol' moves. So I started Level 2, and have been doing it for 3 days. The changes to my legs have been phenominal... at least in the quads. I can "feel" the muscle building under there. I keep looking in the mirror and still the cellulite persists. I asked on the board today if I need to lose a few more lbs, or work on toning, etc. in order to fix my hiney, and I was told "you can't get rid of cellulite". ::: gasp ::: what?!?!? If this is true then I will NEVER be going in a bathing suit of any kind on a beach on any planet in our solar system. I'm soo horrified by this news... seriously, it just... well, sucks! Sooo many people have nice hineys, why the heck can't I have one too???

On another note, by talking with a co-worker yesterday I found out that it's likely panic/anxiety attacks that I get from time to time. I had one yesterday at work. I was called in the conference room for a meeting that lasted a few hours. Now I already knew that I don't do well in large crouds. I was actually fine during the meeting, but as soon as I got out, I went to my office and started feeling "it". Feelings of the lights being waaay too bright, the heat was waaay too hot, and then when I turn that off, it was too cold. My head began to throb... and when this happens I have to hold it. I dunno if I'm trying to keep it from exploding or just keep it off the desk. A lot of times when this happens I feel the need to vomit. I feel a numminess steal over me. I can't concentrate on anything... and just feel like absolute crap. Usually I just go home and within a couple hours of laying in bed with my eyes closed then I feel 100% again. Yesterday I decided to hold off going home and see what happens. And within an hour I was able to work again. I did however retain the headache and was feeling pretty crappy by the time I left for home (but that was due more to not eating enough in the afternoon). One time I had one in the shower and I was getting sooo hot, and soo dizzy and then I couldn't breathe, I HAD to get out of the shower, and lay on the tile till it passed. Anyways, I'd never have even considered that they could be panic attacks, but after talking with my co-worker who said "you don't look so good"... and then explaining how I'm feeling (because she thought I might be contageous with something), I'm beginning to think it fits... so maybe. Now I just need to figure out how to deal with them when they crop up, or stop them before they get too far.

TMI-time (you may just want to skip this part).

I also recently discovered another flaw with my body. I seem to have a problem with "bouncing". I discovered this while doing the shred. When I'm doing the jumping jacks, etc. I can't hold my bladder. I even empty it thorougly before I start, and remember it's only a 20 min workout... but by circuit 3 the bouncing is a definite problem. This also sucks!! So I have to wear something when I do it... oh freakin' joy!! I did some reading and it seems that I can try doing keegal exercises... but you have to keep doing them for life in order to keep the muscles strong. Probably should start now tho. hmmpt.

Well... that's enough of that talk for a lifetime. I think I'll just go pout in a corner or something.
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  • no profile photo CD5329129
    Ok, so about the cellulite, I have it and pretty much everyone I know has it. I think toning up makes a huge difference and as for bathing-suit wearing, a tan (real or fake) helps alot. You have come such a long way and you have worked so hard, don't get caught up in what you can't change - at least you can wear a bikini! I would kill to wear a bikini!

    Hmmm ... I don't know much about panic attacks but I would speak to a doctor about this one. Also about the bladder issue - your doctor might have some advice here - you are too young for this! Keegals are good though ...
    3882 days ago
  • SAMGRAY1
    Cellulite Sucks! Unfortunately- there is nothing that can be done. SOme of it is hereditary I found out. Even when I only weighed 99 lbs- in my EARLY years- I had cellulite! Funny thing is- WE are really the only ones who notice it. To us it's horrible- but others don't even see it! Give yourself a break and some serious self love! You have it- it ain't going anywhere- no matter what you weigh- but YOU are a BEAUTIFUL person! and THAT is what you need to tell yourself- EVERY DAY! Love yourself! Love your body! Love the time you have on this earth! It and you are special emoticon

    Now- for the "bladder" thing- yeah- middle age- sux too lol. And I feel your pain. Had that happen some too. It's probably a lot more common than you are thinking. Kegel excercises do help some. It happens to me almost every time I sneeze lol.

    I do not know anything about panic attacks- but see your doctor on that. he/she may be able to give you better insight.

    THank you for sharing & I hope your week improves emoticon

    "Remember to listen to the music of Life. It's usually playing your song."
    3882 days ago
  • NOTABOUTHEFACE
    Aww sweetie! Well, the "good" news is stats show 90% OF WOMEN have cellulite so guess what, you're NORMAL! Women who don't have it are freaks of nature who are destined to have it some day anyway. I know this doesn't make you feel better but you are a tiny little thing and it would be a d*mn shame for someone with a body 99% of the people here envy not go in a bathing suit! We all can pick our bodies apart until the Earth spins off it's axis but while you're busy hiding, someone else is enjoying the sand between their toes and not giving a rat's butt what other would think and trust me, they're much bigger than you! ;)

    As far as the panic attacks, you'll eventually master them. Deep breathing is KEY! Mine are usually either spinning, nausea, lightheaded, various pains, even hearing loss and all while under high stress. Used to be on meds for it but not a fan of meds so weaned off and now control it naturally. They only occur when I'm incredibly stressed and I know I need to deep breathe, listen to some relaxing music if possible and give myself a neck. (I have a tendency to shrug my shoulders into my ears and not even realize it) So there is hope. You CAN control them you just have to get down with meditation, deep breathing and that will help you head them off at the pass.

    And yep, Kegels are your friend. Luckily you can do them anywhere and no one will ever know!
    3882 days ago
  • WORK-IN-PROGRES
    you're too cute:)

    not sure about the cellulite issue but, although some of your symptoms fit anxiety attacks, others fit with migraine headache (take it from someone who suffers both)

    ...."Feelings of the lights being waaay too bright, the heat was waaay too hot, and then when I turn that off, it was too cold. My head began to throb... and when this happens I have to hold it. I dunno if I'm trying to keep it from exploding or just keep it off the desk. A lot of times when this happens I feel the need to vomit. I feel a numminess steal over me. I can't concentrate on anything... and just feel like absolute crap. Usually I just go home and within a couple hours of laying in bed with my eyes closed then I feel 100% again...."

    describes my migraines to a "T". I suggest you speak with your doctor about both, and if interested, do some reading about an amino acid supplement called 5-HTP which is supposed to help with various things, like depression/anxiety, migraines, obesity etc. I'm reading a book about it right now - trying to get off meds for anxiety and find some help for my migraines!

    as for the bouncing and 'leakage' - have you had kids yet? My ob/gyn says this is common for us middle-aged women - don't know if that's you or not, though:)

    good luck with your journey - love your sense of humour!! emoticon
    3882 days ago
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