Waiting to Weigh
Friday, February 12, 2010
I asked my family to help me with a 'scale intervention’ I needed it. I had gotten into the habit of stepping on the scales every day. Sometime two and three times a day. In the morning, before a run, after a run, before bed. Why? I don’t know why, but that is what I was doing. Some if it is probably rooted in a long love hate relationship I have had with food and my body image. But, I will not play psychologist here and now. Those thoughts are in my journal.
So, I was sharing with a friend that now that I am in “ONEderland” I don’t have anything to prove by stepping on the scale. I have proven to myself that I know how to lose weight. So he asked, “Why do you do it then?” Because I am compelled to, it is a habit. Also, people ask “How much have you lost” . . . that is a number used to measure whether you have successfully lost enough weight to justify praise. He said “Stop it. Don’t do it anymore.” Again, I said “I can’t stop it.” He said, “You just told me you ran 5 miles without walking and yet you can’t will yourself to stop doing something that you know you should not be doing. Bull.”
After that conversation, I thought about my goals for this next year. Not a one of them has a thing to do with the number on the scale. I did have the goal of getting below 200 lbs. That was a huge psychological hurdle. I still have 30 lbs. I’d like to lose, but that can come off anytime over the next year. It is not my focus. Now I want to focus on my training for the half marathon. That means fuelling well. Before I upped my calories in the middle of January, I was always exhausted and just on the edge of coming down with something. I was so close to my weight goal and I kept cutting my calories back or increasing my cardio to ‘make it happen’. And it just would not happen. Now I know I need the proper fuel and that I can lose weight while eating more. The fear and stress are gone. Also, training for a distance or endurance activity puts an increased load on your body each week. That causes inflammation which is a necessary part of the recovery process. I don’t want to be freaking out about inflammation and sabotaging my recovery.
So, now I will weigh on Tuesday morning only, until my Biggest Loser Challenge is over. Then I plan to weigh in no more than twice a month. I must say that I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel very relaxed. My last weigh in was on Tuesday, the day I entered Onederland, my lowest weight in almost 10 years. I don’t have to see the number on the scale to feel that my body is getting tone and tight. I feel smaller every day. That feeling is worth a million bucks and I will not allow myself to be robbed of that confidence and victory by stepping on the scale.
P.S. I depended on my scale everyday when I first started. It was a helpful tool to help me see how my body reacted to dietary and activity changes. For instance, if I had a three pound gain in one day, I would review what I ate the day before, realizing that it was impossible to have actually gained 3lbs. in one day. This is how I learned to lower my sodium and to increase my potassium. I am not suggesting that anyone should stop weighing. It is just the right choice for me at this time. A month ago, it would not have been the right choice.