You Can't Rest on Your Former Glory
Friday, February 19, 2010
Have you ever hear the phrase "You can't rest on your former glory"?
No one cares that you once won an award. It's not relevant to the present.
That you used to be thin, doesn't matter today.
No one cares that you once won a race.
What you are doing today is what they see.
Last year I was just about to take down pictures of my husband and I running in an 8K race in 2003. I was tired of seeing myself as a runner, when it was so far from the reality I was living.
I loved to hear runners talk about their runs and hear of how their training was going. But when I would try to add to the conversation, it was based on a past feeling. I had nothing to add to the current reality. I was 80 lbs. heavier than my 'running days'. I was not credible or believable as a runner.
Who was I fooling. Runner was so removed from who I was at the time, 80 lbs. heavier, high blood pressure, couldn't even walk a mile.
But, I could ride a bike! I love riding my bike! So, I headed out every chance I got! I could go on long excursions on my bike. After a couple months and 25lbs lighter, I starting working out with my personal trainer through a fitness program at our university. In September we stepped onto the track and she said "We're just going to walk". So we walked for five minutes. Then she said "We just going to jog one lap". Do you know how hard one lap is for someone who is overweight and out of shape?
I had been having foot and ankle issues for 9 months previous to this.
Had physical therapy and cortisone shots in my heal, gone to bed in tears from pain.
And now, Ms. Perky Trainer, says we are going to jog.
Well, I jogged and I made it all the way around. Not because it was easy. Not because I was loving it. But because I am not a quitter!
We alternated walking and jogging a couple more laps. I was gasping and felt like I was going to collapse.
The next time I met with her she had me do suicide runs on the basketball court!
HELLO! I'm 44! I'm OVERWEIGHT! But, I do it!
I am so proud of myself! I proved something to myself. I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.
A couple days later my husband and I are out doing errands. I have already planned what happens next. I had my running clothes on, my trainers on, my music. When we are a mile and a half from the house, I ask my husband to let me out of the car so I can run. I wasn't sure I could run it, but I knew I was strong enough to finish it.
When I broke into a light jog, my legs felt heavy.
As my foot struck the pavement it jarred my whole body.
Five strides in, this little . . . no big, no HUGE voice in my head screamed "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???? THIS HURTS"
I thought for a moment about jumping up and down and waving for my husband to come back. Part of me was afraid that he wouldn't see me and part of me was afraid he would. I'm not a quitter! I told him not to come back for me.
Walk. Walk. WALK!!! Don't quit. But walk.
So I walked the distance of two telephone poles.
Now, run. Okay, low jog. A trot will do. Shuffle if you must. But move it!
Okay. I'm jogging, oh, my, oh, my, I'm jogging. Relax. Breath. You can walk when you get to the next telephone pole. No, not yet. Get there, Get there. Almost there, then you can walk. Not yet. Almost. Okay. Walk.
The next time I run I run twice the distance and walk half the distance. I continued this interval type running/walking until I stagger to the entrance of our subdivision.
I see my husband in the car coming to check on me and offer me a ride. I want it. No, I don't. I want to complete what I started.
My husband knows me, he knows I am stubborn and determined. As soon as he sees me, he gives me the thumbs up and heads back home. He didn't even ask if I was okay. He didn't even ask if I wanted a ride. He just turned around.
He know me well.
I needed to finish on my own strength. Complete.
He waits in the driveway at home and cheers for me as I cross the finish line.
I'm a runner.
As many of you know, I started the Couch to 5K training program a few weeks after this 'run'. I have not looked back since. Before I had even been able to completely run a full mile without walking, I signed up for a half marathon. Some may think that is crazy. But I know me. I am determined. I will finish what I started. I am stubborn. I will complete.
Today I am running twenty miles a week.
My long run on Saturday will be 7 miles!
I'm a runner!
A fitness challenge started at work. Team of 6 walkers or runners sign up for this three week challenge. Of course, I pounced right on it and started thinking of people I'd like to be on my team. Funny thing is, everyone I asked hesitated . . . they were intimidated by the number of miles I run each week!!! Me! A runner!!!
My team will not win this challenge.
We are a team of one new runner who is up to running two miles three times a week.
One runner who is running four miles three times a week.
Two, I'd like to be a runners who I just started on the Couch to 5K.
Two runners (my husband and I) who are running twenty miles a week each.
Look at me! I'm a runner! And I love it!