Getting up, dusting butt off, trying again
Friday, March 19, 2010
In my last blog entry, written a year ago, I said I get bouts of clinical depression about once every two years so I expected to be fine for the next two years, but that didn't turn out to be the case. For the past couple of months, I've been struggling with it again. I am one of the small percentage of the population who can't seem to take any antidepressants or mood regulators without getting horrible, sometimes life-threatening side effects. So, I'm left to find more creative, natural ways of coping and getting through these bouts...of all my tools, I guess my Irish stubbornness is the most effective -- I just *outlast* it! :-)
Anyway, last March I lost my job (which was actually a blessing, because it was requiring ~60-80 hours per week and it was sucking my soul out!!!). Within a month I found another one which pays less than half of what I had been making, but that I LOVE. I have finally found my calling! I am now a CNA (nurse's aide) in a nursing home...I love taking care of people! My favorite floor is the rehab floor, where we get a wide variety of people, a wide variety of ages, most recovering from injury or surgery. I love it! And I work 40 hours a week, and when my work is done, it's DONE! I go home, and I can actually be with my family, instead of immediately logging on to the computer to finish up work from the office!!!
With all my extra time now (*grin!*) I have enrolled in nursing school...it will be 4-5 years before I graduate because I'm only taking 2-3 classes at a time, but at least I'm working towards it.
Prior to losing my job, we had been living on the edge financially, trying desperately to juggle all the bills, and when I lost my job (even though my period of unemployment was only a month), everything crashed around us. We lost our house, which turned out to be ANOTHER blessing in disguise....for a long time, we hadn't been able to afford the upkeep on it, so we were living with a leaking roof, the electricity broken in about a quarter of the house, no reliable air conditioning, a broken window, a broken dishwasher, etc., etc., etc....now, we live in a BEAUTIFUL apartment, and if anything breaks, the landlord will fix it....SWEET!
So, new job, new apartment, new career path...life is going well. Yes, there are still incredible debts that I have no hope of paying anytime soon without a miracle, but for the most part things are going really well, thank G-d.
Spring is finally here, and although I know my depression isn't seasonal, the long grey winter was enough to get *anyone* depressed!! I'm not sorry to see it go. The weather forecast says it'll snow (no accumulation, just flakes) on Saturday, but it seems like that's just winter's parting gift. Today it's sunny and supposed to get up to 67.
My daughter and I joined a gym that just opened a branch a few blocks from our new apartment, and we have been going together, which has been really nice!
So, although the past year has been rough and weight loss has been the last thing on my mind, I'm picking myself up, dusting my butt off, and getting back to work! Begin again in 2010, that's me... :-)