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Getting up, dusting butt off, trying again

Friday, March 19, 2010

In my last blog entry, written a year ago, I said I get bouts of clinical depression about once every two years so I expected to be fine for the next two years, but that didn't turn out to be the case. For the past couple of months, I've been struggling with it again. I am one of the small percentage of the population who can't seem to take any antidepressants or mood regulators without getting horrible, sometimes life-threatening side effects. So, I'm left to find more creative, natural ways of coping and getting through these bouts...of all my tools, I guess my Irish stubbornness is the most effective -- I just *outlast* it! :-)

Anyway, last March I lost my job (which was actually a blessing, because it was requiring ~60-80 hours per week and it was sucking my soul out!!!). Within a month I found another one which pays less than half of what I had been making, but that I LOVE. I have finally found my calling! I am now a CNA (nurse's aide) in a nursing home...I love taking care of people! My favorite floor is the rehab floor, where we get a wide variety of people, a wide variety of ages, most recovering from injury or surgery. I love it! And I work 40 hours a week, and when my work is done, it's DONE! I go home, and I can actually be with my family, instead of immediately logging on to the computer to finish up work from the office!!!

With all my extra time now (*grin!*) I have enrolled in nursing school...it will be 4-5 years before I graduate because I'm only taking 2-3 classes at a time, but at least I'm working towards it.

Prior to losing my job, we had been living on the edge financially, trying desperately to juggle all the bills, and when I lost my job (even though my period of unemployment was only a month), everything crashed around us. We lost our house, which turned out to be ANOTHER blessing in disguise....for a long time, we hadn't been able to afford the upkeep on it, so we were living with a leaking roof, the electricity broken in about a quarter of the house, no reliable air conditioning, a broken window, a broken dishwasher, etc., etc., etc....now, we live in a BEAUTIFUL apartment, and if anything breaks, the landlord will fix it....SWEET!

So, new job, new apartment, new career path...life is going well. Yes, there are still incredible debts that I have no hope of paying anytime soon without a miracle, but for the most part things are going really well, thank G-d.

Spring is finally here, and although I know my depression isn't seasonal, the long grey winter was enough to get *anyone* depressed!! I'm not sorry to see it go. The weather forecast says it'll snow (no accumulation, just flakes) on Saturday, but it seems like that's just winter's parting gift. Today it's sunny and supposed to get up to 67.

My daughter and I joined a gym that just opened a branch a few blocks from our new apartment, and we have been going together, which has been really nice!

So, although the past year has been rough and weight loss has been the last thing on my mind, I'm picking myself up, dusting my butt off, and getting back to work! Begin again in 2010, that's me... :-)
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  • no profile photo CD4274730
    Wow, what a crazy year! Good job going back to school, though :) Way to go!
    3826 days ago
  • PHEBESS
    So glad to see you back on the board! And wow what a year you've had! But you definitely have an upbeat attitude, and you sound like you've made the best of a rough situation and actually come out on top - so YAY for you!!!!!!! And it can only go up from here, right?

    Big hugs, and yay on going back to school!!!!
    3843 days ago
  • GYMRAT54
    When I first started to read your blog, I was expecting it to be, well, depressing. It was a story of how things were and how they turned around for you. I can't tell you how happy I am for you that you were able to leave that 60-80 hr/week job that you hated and was able to find a 40 hr/week job that you love that allows you to use your time after work to go to nursing school. My husband lost his job in Mar 2009 that was a 40 hr/week job. He just found a new job end of Jan 2010 that requires him to work 50-70 hrs/week. They didn't tell him that when he accepted the job. Now he's so dead tired from the hours there and the long commute. I don't see him much anymore. I'm having to do the stuff he normally does on top of what I ususally do. So we're both dead tired. To find a new apartment where they fix anything that goes wrong is sweet! To find a gym really close to home is great! I was glad when they opened up this new gym really close to my home. I'm there a lot.
    3844 days ago
  • EARTHSEAME
    emoticon It sounds like you have a good handle on coping strategies. May your great new job and comfortable abode help you weather this bout of depression!
    3844 days ago
  • MYLAUREN2
    Its amazing what happens. I am glad everything is working out for you. Good luck on your journey. emoticon
    3844 days ago
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