Some of you will remember my ONEderland celebration party just a couple months ago! I enjoyed celebrating that accomplishment with you and thank you for all your support and encouragement. I was so glad to be entering a new land with new possibilities. For a week or two I would not step on the scale because I didn't want to 'break the magic' . I was afraid a little weight fluctuation, which usually does not bother me, would cause the needle on the scale to float too close to the 200 mark. It made a difference to me. Having a 1 in the front of my weight felt good.
As I've been training for a half marathon, the weight loss slowed to a trickle, the inches dropped, the pant size dropped, the number on the scale inched up, inched down, stayed the same forever. I began to ignore the scale and focus on the fitness and strength I need to complete what I have started. Well, lately the needle on the scale started moving again and I almost missed celebrating a milestone. Probably because I didn't have it as a 'goal'.
As the needle inched away from the shores of 200 ville, I found myself always looking back at that shore line. It had be a harbor of familiarity for my whole adult life. I gave birth to my children there. I meet my best friends there. I homeschooled my children there. I shopped there. I lived there.
There was a kinda safety there. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't loving living there, but I did a lot of my life there.
As I sailed away from the harbor, I was excited! Excited to just be free! To be able to move around and see new things in new ways, but I was still hoovering around the harbor, afraid of being lashed back to shore by one of lives storms, afraid to set free in uncharted territory.
Am I strong enough to travel on, can I stand the tests? How many times will I be coming back toward this shore? Can I safely say I won't be visiting that shore again? That feels odd. I'd like to think I could be confident in that thought.
I've learned new things about my ability to sail the storms of life without being capsized or crashed by to the shores of 200-ville. Can I truly say that I am no longer a resident of that land?
Today as I stepped on the scale, I saw a number that I did not expect to see. I had been sooo busy enjoying ONEderland and glancing back at 200-ville, that I was not even looking forward what was out on the open sea. All that uncharted territory.
Today, as I head out onto the open water, 200ville is a distant memory. I cannot even see it from here.
Today my weight is 189.5 and I am free to be me and explore!
"A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."