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Help me figure this out!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I don't know exactly what it is I'm feeling right now - could you guys help me figure it out??

Today I ate really well, was very active - walked around the city with a good friend doing errands. Then at night I walked her to her other friend's house (1/2 hour brisk walk) While waiting for her, walked around the block five times (another 1/2 hour) and then walked back home (yet another 1/2 hour) :) So that was about 5.5 miles for me, 500 calories burned, super yay!

Then I got home exhausted, but had some pancake batter I needed to finish frying for my friend's supper and daughter's breakfast. They're not really pancakes; they're Russian "oladushki" that my mom made all the time - yogurt, sugar, flour, eggs - mix and fry and die of deliciousness and super yummy texture :) And I was hungry, and there were a few cold oladushki (pronounced a-LAH-doo-shkee) that some previous person didn't finish, and I thought - I still have about 300 calories left for the day - and I gobbled them up. YUM. Then I had a nectarine. Slightly less yum, but yum nevertheless :) and healthy.

And then I started thinking - can I have more oladushki? I mean, I don't know how many calories they are, so I can't track them anyway, right? And maybe they don't have too many calories? And then YIKES I remembered that I had an iced nonfat latte (with sugar and sweetener added) at Starbucks with my friend today, and I didn't track that because it's not trackable, and so really I didn't have quite 300 calories left at all! And then I thought, aw heck, might as well have more oladushki.

What's going on??? I was so positive today - decided I didn't care about the number on my scale, decided that I am just going to keep doing the right thing and eventually I will see progress.

I know *theoretically* that every teeny tiny decision counts, but practically I think, will this really make a difference? I walked so much today, ate so healthfully otherwise - can't I just have this white-flour-white-sugar-full-f
at-yogurt concoction? You see, spelling it out here makes it sound so much more obvious - of course it will make a difference. I had about 150-200 grams worth. Not a ridiculous amount of calories. But is it even noticeable? I know that if I allowed myself to have more, then I would have botched my efforts for the day, and eaten back the 500 calories I'd burned. So throwing in the towel is definitely a downward spiral to falling off the wagon. But what about those few oladushki that I had - would it have made a difference if I'd taken the time to make myself a tuna melt on whole spelt bread (my original plan)? TELL ME WHAT TO THINK!!! :) :) :)

It boils down to this:
It's so frightening to me - how I can have all the right intentions and thoughts, but when I am confronted by something actually delicious in front of me, it's like a whole new brain is switched on and I think these wrong, illogical, wishful thoughts. What is this? Do you have it? What do you do about it? Help! Thanks :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry I'm so late to weigh in on this! I am the same way. I'll be on some amazing streak of fabulousness and then BAM! My neighbor will bring us some delish but unhealthy dinner or I'll bake a cake for someones birthday or B will bring home ice cream, etc and then it's all downhill. I think we just need to figure out what works for us, you know? For some ppl, having a little bit of some treat works and then they're good to go along their merry healthy way. For others, it's a slippery slope leading to self-destruction...haha I'm in the latter group. For me, I don't do well with little bits. Not until I've settled into a pattern of healthy eating/exercising and stuck with it for a few weeks. Any sooner than that and I fail miserably and fall back into old habits. One thing I've found that really works is relying on my friends to help me get my head together. So if you want, I'll sparkmessage you my number and you can totally call/text me anytime that you feel like giving in to something that you know will deter you from your goal. Just a thought. :) Hope you're doing well; sorry I couldn't be of more help!
    3791 days ago
    Oh...I like the way you describe....like a switch has been flipped...I swear that describes me perfectly. In fact, I did this yesterday. What I tend to do is think the same thing...I have so many calories left I can have this smores...then what happens? The smore makes me hungry for s'more. Next thing you know I'm nibbling out of the cereal box, grabbing a piece of ham from the fridge, on and on...I'm the type that has to be completely focused...once I let myself think about a certain food it all goes downhill quick. I'm working on a better way to handle this...I just haven't figured it out yet. Currently I'm working on saying out loud to myself "do you really want this? Do you really need this? Do you really want to gain weight tomorrow?" Hmmm....don't know if it will work, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. I just can't let my self rationalize eating bad food...cause I am the best rationalizer out there! WE CAN DO THIS!
    3796 days ago
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