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Even the Doctor Noticed!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I just came home from the doctor whom I am seeing for the hip joint infection and was so happy when he paused from looking at my incision and said, "You know you are looking SO MUCH BETTER!" He said it several times, sort of amazed. When I told him I'd lost 45 pounds recently, he said in astonishment, "How did you do it?" I told him I was eating healthily, exercising and using SparkPeople.com.

I get the same comment over and over from people at my church and from others who know me. They are sort of used to my weight see-sawing between 110 lbs and it's recent new high, 210...as different medications wreak havoc on my body. It gets discouraging when I finally arrive at a good weight, and then have an outbreak of asthma requiring hospitalization and IV steroids and then the pill form for months following. That causes my weight, invariably to go up, despite my most fervent attempts not to let that happen.

I also suffer from Steroid Myopathy which is a horrible muscle destruction caused by the steroids ...it causes severe weakness. So every time I get strong and thin,...I go back to fat and weak. This is frustrating and aggravating to say the least, but recently I realized, that if I did NOT work so hard and lose the weight and regain my muscle strength, I'd probably weigh 400 pounds and still be wheelchair bound as I had been in the past.

I can look at the bad side, or I can take heart in the good side: that at least, each time I've recovered almost totally from the damage, and this is what I choose to do. Believe me, such a decision does not come easily for someone with a history of depression and anorexia! Because I still suffer from a HORROR of being overweight, the thought of returning to those numbers, scares me to death. But so far, I've survived it, and conquered in spite of it.

I'm hoping this time, I can reach my goal weight (my TRUE goal weight) of 125-130 before the late fall and winter, when, invariably I'm spending more time IN the hospital then out. I'm going to give it the college try!
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