All Out Rebellion Over Here (aka BLAHBLAHBLAH)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Not really sure why. I am trying to figure that out though. So went to school yesterday and went grocery shopping on the way home. For some unknown reason a bottle of wine snuck into my basket. No actually I'll own it - I put it in there. I invited a friend from school over (she bought two bottles!) and went home and irresponsibly got very drunken. I say irresponsibly because I didn't eat, sleep or do anything remotely good for me last night - and I loved every second of it!!
Ordinarily this would be fine, however I have finals in less than 6 weeks, a 13 year old who doesn't want to see me like that (and I want to set a good example for), a flat inspection today, goals I would like to meet (and keep sabotaging), and should not be thinking about pizza so much (which is all I want right now).
I am making these choices and I own them, but would really like to know where they are coming from... Why I make them... Am I intentionally sabotaging myself or am I feeling overwhelmed, and WHY? These are the questions floating around in my head, and around, and around, and around.
I do have times of rebellion, I am naturally rebellious so I think I may always have these periods in my life, but I would like to be better prepared for them so I can make the right choices for the long-term, not just the right choices for right now. Although this blog probably does not make the best reading for others it is real, and how I feel right now. I hope I can look back over this blog and remember right now for the next time I am pushing myself down a path I don't really want to go down.