A Spark that Flickers
Thursday, October 28, 2010
well Sparkies, my flame is a bit dim this morning. I have been having a terrible time sleeping. I suspect that it is a side effect of my new pain medicaitons. but for the past 7 or 8 days, I've gotten a total of probably 5 hours of sleep TOTAL. I do NOT want to give up these medications because for the first time in many years, I am not confined to my recliner or wheelchair, because of pain...I am having a LIFE..Not driving or working or anything. I think those days are gone forever...But I CAN do light housework and some pretty decent workouts (at least for me...I'm sure some of you marathon runners would scoff). But for me, it's good, and I don't want to give it up and go back to what it was.. And the ironic thing is that, when I have so much pain (without the meds), I don't sleep then EITHER.(well I do sleep a bit more than I am now, but not much.
And the sleeplessness can be due to one other cause. I have two psychiatric diagoses. One of them is bipolar disorder. Now here's my second quandary. If they decide to mess around with my meds again, on the presumption that my sleep problems are due to mania....well, let's just say that every other mood stabilizer I've tried besides the two that I'm on, PACKED on the weight. I gained 80 pounds a year ago because of that and steroids ...So you can see, I'm sure, why I am not investigating THAT possiblity til I absolutely have to.
So the outline for this blog post is that I'm stuck between a rock and several hard places...and I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I know that I need to sleep. I'm several days beyond functioning normally. I'm kind of dazed and my eyes keep closiing....but I don't stay asleep. So I am having trouble motivating myself to workout because I feel like I can hardly stand up.
Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.