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Frustrations

Monday, November 08, 2010

I had a realization yesterday and it made me sad. 9 1/2 months ago i committed myself to losing weight and raising money for breast cancer in memory of my mom who I lost 14 years ago when I was 18 years old. In fact it will be 14 years on the 21st of this month, In the 9 1/2 months since I made that commitment I have failed miserably. I have lost some weight and gained some weight. Lost some weight and gained some weight. I had friends and family commit to donating money to funds in her honor to help fight a disease that took her from me. Instead of being healthier myself and raising the money I could have, I fell flat on my face. FAILURE whispered in my ear for months reminding me that fail is exactly what i was going to do. And I let it win. Here is sit feeling defeated and more than ever feeling this is a fight I cannot win. I am struggling to believe I can and I am struggling to understand why I chose to fail. I am exhausted in every way.

I know I am better than this and I know I have the strength to overcome it. I just can't seem to get my head and my heart on the same page.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HERE2BTHIN
    Evey,

    Like some of Your Wild Flower Spark Buddies have said.You are NOT A Failure. A FAILURE is someone who gives up Totally & from other Blogs, I don't see that is what is happening. Time Management Maybe. But, who doesn't have a Prob in that Issue.

    Write out Your Week ahead. (If you can't do that, Then try Writing out Your Schedule the Night Before. That way you can always see an Opportunity to get !0-30 Minutes of Exercise somewhere.

    Well,

    Good Luck & I'm also somewhere around Beaverton's Corner, If you need me.

    Karrie
    3671 days ago
  • WILDFLOWERR_
    Evey,
    You CAN do this! And don't let the enemy tell you other wise!
    We all slip and fall. After all we are only human! Get up, dust yourself off, and keep on truckin' baby! Recommit yourself right now, today! Take Aimee up on her offer, and stay accountable! That always helps me!
    We are here for you girlfriend!
    emoticon

    Love and emoticon

    emoticon

    THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!
    3671 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2010 1:28:38 PM
  • AIMEEM77
    There have been many moments along this journey so far that I have thought..."I just can't." What I have learned through that is that often times perception is indeed reality. I saw a quote recently that I really liked and it said, "Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can't-you're probably right." That being said, you have got to start believing in you...After all, I do! I believe in you. I know you can do this-you just have to CHOOSE to do it.

    OK, so I'm going to make a proposal. How about each night you and I will hold each other accountable...after all, WE have a stake in this...ahem...VEGAS??? Let's make a pact that each evening we'll make 5 minutes to report into each other with calories and fitness. What do you say?

    Me and you...we got this....
    3671 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2010 8:14:50 AM
  • no profile photo CD6281318
    Evey,
    I don't concider losing 24 pounds a failure!!! YOU HAVE LOST 24 POUNDS, EVEY!!! It doesn't matter if you taken long to do it, you've DONE it! You are doing it, don't listen to how you are feeling! Believe this team's motto, God's Word, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
    I'm praying for you! don't let the enemy whisper lies to you! You can do it! you are doing it!
    emoticon Rachel
    3672 days ago
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