A Long Time Since Skinny
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment. As I got dressed my mind was on the scale which I knew I would be asked to step on once the doctor saw me. I wanted to wear clothes that were not too "heavy" so that I could get a more accurate idea of what I weigh, because I know that our scale is up to 8 pounds llight when it weighs me.... I wanted to, needed to see what the actual number really was...so yesterday I put on leggings and a long tunic-type of top. I had a few moments' hesitation because this outfit is something I would have easilty worn when I was 20, but now, at 47, I wondered if maybe iit was too funky and young for me. I asked my 18 year old daugher's opinion of that. She looked at me and said, "no mom, you look great...YOu should wear it." As I walked into the kitchen a few steps ahead of my husband a few minutes later, he (my totally unobservant and "i could care less how you look" husband,) said to me, "You know, that outfit makes you look really skinny."
I stopped dead in my tracks and thought two things, (#1, mental note to self, "NEVER take this outfit off again") and 2: I can't REMEMBER the last time i had the word "skinny" applied to me. I used to be called that regulalrly...it was a title of honor which I wore proudly...and now, after several years of being very overweight...(OKAY, if you MUST use the O-word, ) i was OBESE....as inconguous as that term sounded when applied to me, the one who'd been "skinny mini" for my whole life....And yet, over the three or so years of obesity....I got used to thinking of myself as "fat" and had given up all hope of ever hearing that svelt term next to my name, ever again. So when I heard it yesterday...I could've jumped for joy and hugged my husband. (but I restrained myself-I don't think that would've been a welcome gesture.)
My second moment of great triumph came when my doctor of 20+ years walked into the examining room after not seeing me since April...His jaw dropped to the floor anad his eyes popped and he said, "CYNTHIA, you 've lost and INORDINATE amount of weight!:" Last time I'd heard him use that word was when he had been remarking on my "inordinate " wieght GAIN....He then asked me those magic words. "HOW?" And I told him about Spark People. He listened with interest and pulled a memo pad from his pocket and jotted down the web address....I hope he looks into it and begins to refer other patients here as well.
Then he said, "You need to be weighed" and out came their brand spanking new scale. (it was so nice to be rid of that BEAST of an old scale that persisted in telling me I'd gotten fatter every time I'd stepped on it before.) Now, with this lovely digital piece of technology...the wonderful numbers popped up: fully dressed...midday...after two meals and lots of water: 164!! I was so happy....I know that that means that my morning naked readings of 157 are very close to correct and NOT 8 pounds light as I'd feared.
So overall, I had myself a very....SKIINNY day, yesterday. And it felt really GOOD.