Running --into Walls.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Well, a week ago tomorrow was my epidural...which was incredibly effective at reducing my pain. It almost eliminated my back pain--Until today.
I had a busy day planned. Picture a house where the primary person in charge of cleanliness and order--has been out of commission for about two years. You get the picture. Now we DO have help in cleaning it every two weeks ...but you have to see my closets! Mass destruction.
And even my paperwork has suffered tremendously. Take filing for example --
I even have it tied up into bags, so you can take it more easily.
My desk is littered with letters that need to be answered; insurance claims that need to be followed up on; well...you get the picture I'm sure. And you may wonder why letters don't get written and phone calls made...after all, I'm not paralyzed. It's because pain paralyzes my life. It sucks away all my tolerance for frustration...It makes it impossible to even sit at my desk for more than two minutes... And I couldn't even do a lot of stuff on my laptop because for over 6 months, it was broken and after it got fixed, we didn't have a printer!
My closets are the kind where you have to fight to open the door...and then -- duck! Actually they are not quite that bad....well, yes, maybe they are. I would love to have a day, just to spend on my bedroom closet, which doubles as a bathroom closet and linen closet......
For the past some odd years it has been a struggle just to get my clothes off, let alone hang them up! Actually, the clean ones ARE hung up...just so you don't think I'm a total pig!
Anyway, you get the idea of how I needed to spend the day, and maybe the next four years. And I did get a lot done. However, after working out today, I had a distressing lack of abilty to move my left leg for several minutes...It was just kind of hanging there...attached but not FEELING like it was attached. I'm at a great risk for paralysis due to my back situation, so this did give me a pause. However, after several minutes, once again, awkwardly, it moved.
I don't think it likes lunges.
For that reason I had to cut my workout short after only about a half hour. But I got a bit of a workout today doing what I needed to do around here.
So here comes the second wall that I hit.
This morning I moved in a way that my back really didn't appreciate. And I felt the first horrific stab of pain that I'd had in close to a week, since my epidural. And from that point on, the pain steadily came back...It still is not as bad as it was...but this is the way I responded to the injection of steroids into my bad hip. It worked great for about three days (that time) and then the pain gradually came back until in about two or three days later, it was back full force.
I'm not happy about this.
(Don' t you just love an effective usage of understatement??)
Actually, I have so much enjoyed my small vacation from hell, that I'm just not too willing to go back. Besides, there is still much to be done. And that 's just the WORK...never mind the fun!
Honestly, I'm joking about it ...but underneath the jokes are a lot of tears which haven't been (and won't be) shed.
I LOVED being able to work out hard and long. I was amazed at my strength and my improvement in my cardio endurance. Take pain out of the equation and I'm an exercising machine!
Even though I still had pain from the PsA in numerous joints, and pain in my cervical spine which is a mess too...The worst pain, is in my lower back. And that pain is over the top...
...and it pushes me off the edge.