So here it is, 2011! Woo hoo!!! Or...not. I thought I would be in ONEderland or pretty darn close to it at this time of year, I thought I would ring in the new year a slimmer me, and a me that would soon reach her goal weight.
Well I AM slimmer. I WILL reach my goal weight this year. BUT. I have gained the dreaded 10 lbs. (ok, only 9, but it sure feels like 10) that the holidays can put on. And the thing that really irks me is this is all within the past week or so of being on vacation from work and of Christmas and New Years. I maintained through Thanksgiving.
I am not going to lie. I am depressed!
But I am thankful that this happened, in a way, as much as I hate it. It has shown me just how easy it is to get back to that place I used to be, to become that person I used to be, the girl who binged and purged and then binged again. The girl who was never full enough, and then was all too full. The girl that didn't like herself.
When I saw the scale hit 225.5, up from 216, I hated myself for a brief minute there. Hated my body. Hated that I have to do everything 100% right or I gain. Hated that I have to give 200% just to lose. I felt, for just a moment, that it was hopeless.
But I know that is not the case, I know I can come back from this. I know that all of those thoughts in my head were just lies and I am not going to let that negative force win this race!
So here is my list of things to do to get back on track, and to make me happy. Call them what you will, some say resolutions, some say to do lists, some call it simply a plan. I am calling it "How to Begin Again".
1. Drink a tall bottle of water.
3. Forgive yourself.
4. Remember that you are human.
5. See and recognize how far you have come.
6. Update Spark tracker to reflect current weight and don't look back.
7. Sign up for the 8K I will RUN this spring.
8. Go to the bookstore and purchase the new paperback edition of The Spark. Read the special guide.
9. Give away my hard cover copy to my brother-in-law who has climbed back up to his high weight.
10. MOVE. I will work out in some way, shape or form every day.
11. WRITE. I will write with a pen, pencil, crayon or keyboard every day.
12. Smile. At myself in the mirror, at strangers on the street, at my family.
13. Get stronger. Add more strength training into my routine.
14. RUN. Get back to the track, girl. That's where you shine and what makes your heart flutter.
15. Set goals that are high.
16. Start the way you will end.
17. Believe in yourself.
18. Don't be tempted to try quick fix solutions. You got here and you know how to get back.
19. Join Spark People's Boot Camp Challenge.
20. Just DO IT.
"You will fly and you will crawl. God knows, even angels fall" - Jessica Riddle