Bootcamp Re-Eval

The effects - at least the positive effects - of my epidural are gone. The only thing left now is the enlarged stomach (steroids cause your fat deposits to rearrange themselves into your face and abdomen; lovely--just lovely) and the raging appetite. I won't BEGIN to tell you what I've eaten in the past two days: Probably more than I've eaten in any one, maybe two, weeks in the past year! And it's making me feel sick not only in spirit and mind, but physically as well. You know that clean, energized feeling you get when you eat well and sparingly? Well, think of the exact opposite feeling and that's me right now.
Normally, if I felt like this I would go out for a 3 mile brisk powerwalk. ...or do some DVDs to induce major sweating...However, my hands are tied even here.

And this is because the pain I normally experience is raging out of control. My hips are the main problem getting in the way of cardio. My right hip hurts because it needs to be replaced. My LEFT hip, which was just replaced last May, has also been really hurting deep in the joint. Now this is a distressing thing. And that is because, shortly after (like several days after) my replacement surgery, I got MRSA- a terrible , drug resistant infection- in my surgical site. Fortunately they did another surgery about a week later to clean it out and put me immediately on strong antibiotics for months to try to mitigate the damage this infection was doing. But at the time, they warned me, that even a year or more later, I can be at risk for the infection returning; deep in the new joint site...and this will be a HUGE problem...requiring them to go in and take out all the hardware - a tougher surgery than it was to put it in - and it will take several years of surgeries and pain and very limited mobility before I will, hopefully, recover.

And the one thing they told me to always watch out for is pain in the site. Because now that it's all healed...there is no reason to have pain there...after all, it is an artificial joint...not capable of pain. But in the past few days, I've been bothered by pain.

My hip surgeon is on vacation this week and I have an appointment to see him the day he returns which is next Monday. This makes me think that this problem, added to the instability I've had in that joint, will definitely cause him to suggest at the very least; a revision in the left hip and that will give him the opportunity to get down into that joint and check for infection.

RATS. (to put it politely).

This will sideline me for an indefinite period of time. And I know that it is going to be so hard to maintain my enthusiasm for fitness and my dedication to weight loss. ...Still, as sure as I am of what will likely transpire, it is best not to anticipate it and negatively project. It is best to focus on the here and now.

But frankly the "here and now" is just stinking up the place too.

I'm in so much pain I can barely sit or stand. And this is not conducive to exercise. My back pain is so bad I feel like throwing up.

I am thinking that it is probably foolish to continue the Bootcamp...although I seriously wanted to finish it. Other than needing to modify some of the dumbbell exercises to make them "hip replacement friendly" (which they certainly are NOT, taken in their original state)...I've had no problem with the videos ...in fact am finding them so easy that I'm wondering where the benefit will be in doing them. But still , it was important to me to continue. And right now, it is the cardio, which is presenting the greatest problem due to the hip issues.

So, all in all, I'm not a happy camper at the moment. It's 2:30 am and I've been up the majority of the night due to pain. Of course, I comforted myself by (actually was COMPELLED to ) stuffing my face... After a week of this behavior, I don't think there is another edible crumb in the house other than things like raw meat.

Gross.