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One Year Ago

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No not one year ago meaning date, just one year ago today; date is actually tomorrow. My husband at approximately 5:40 AM suffered from a fistula bleed aka brain bleed. I woke up this morning and looked at the clock and watched from 4:15 all the way thru until 6AM. Only then was I able to fall back asleep.

I cannot begin to tell/explain to anyone willing to listen how God touched our lives, blessed my husband from the moment his incident occurred. The chain of events, the doctor on call @ emergency room in a not so specialized country hospital, the air lifeflight to Emory medical because he could get there the quickest and was admitted although there were no rooms available on the ICU floor...a first come first serve type of deal, he won. The doctors that conferred and attempted, the one doctor that took over because the one who was to perform the surgery was out...so happens the doctor that worked with Pat was head of his field recognized nationally & internationally.

The support was overwhelming...from my office, my family, the people in ICU land while with their loved ones all the way to my Pink Sisters. My days in ICU land were of a quiet faith never without a doubt, a different world that would change me forever.

Touching talking speaking just being. I learned so much about myself, my husband and to be honest far more than I ever dreamt about medically! I lived at the hospital in a little family room off of Pat's and actually continued to work; God sending me referrals, people who understood what was happening in my life but willing to work with me through my account manager...texting was our tool. How crass you think....no it was chicken soup for the soul keeping me productively active in an otherwise day in day out atmosphere of life support sounds, doctors in and out, beeps whirs, the still form of once my active husband.

God never left us...never.

I kept telling Pat about his puppy Buster he not only chose but bonded with less than a month before he was stricken and to this very day I swear that in addition to God's Grace Buster is what helped bring my man home....

Once home from rehab Pat was with me for one week to the day on March 9th my sweet man suffered severe blood clots that travelled thru his heart landing in his lungs...in essence my man crashed and if not again for God's blessings and Grace touching the medical staff on call my husband would not be here.

God once again touched us with His love. The rest is history, long recovery, ICU land (again), rehabs and the long long road with a strong will and fight for recovery. My friends and family as well as work kept in constant touch continuing to build our strength through love and caring. Thank you is too simple for the gratitude felt thru 4 long months of hospitals & rehabs.

Where am I going with all of this you may wonder? I don't know...a catharsis of sorts I guess...I lost quite a bit of weight while all of this was going on but still managed to take care of myself and must do so and again so that I can continue to enjoy my husband...he was after all given back to me was he not?

Things to think about, priorities to be placed as I am finding myself swamped with work again, falling behind in the camaraderie of my husband...how dare I?? Must remember what is most important, must remember how to achieve healthier lifestyle but most of all celebrate my husband today, his one year date of Grace while holding in my heart how we were both Blessed beyond words.

This year "anniversary" has been weighing heavily on my mind and feels good to get it out, almost as if I have exorcised the demons of memory and am now free to move forward with my husband... we are both changed in oh so many ways...

Just need to get thru tomorrow...the actual date, not day but date...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Beautiful, Ellen! Thank you for sharing, I, too, have a lump in my throat and am glad your hubby is still with you. One of the most significant things God will bring out of our trials is an ability to walk constructively with others through theirs. In Fact, I believe that one of the purposes of God's comfort is to equip us to comfort others.

    Many hugs and Blessings, Camille
    3528 days ago
    Oh Ellen, that was beautiful. I imagine it was a catharsis. You are such an amazing wonderful woman. Huge lump n my throat right now. I know this was a heart and gut wrenching time for you, but you showed only strength throughout. Hugs to you, dear lady.
    3544 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1935667
    A very beautiful blog, Ellen - uplifting, full of love and hope. You are an awesome lady. I know that this felt very solidifying to put down on "paper". Its part of the process;part of the journey.
    The year was life changing and you have weathered it well.
    Thank you for what you have shared with us my friend.

    3547 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2362834
    emoticon What year! I'm so glad he recovered & everything turned out so well & you can look forward to more years together! (hugs)
    3547 days ago
  • NEWME-2010
    Ellen I met you right in the midst of all of this and I was truly amazed at how wonderful of a lady you are...still feel the same way..you are an inspiration in the area of faith and I hope that others around you can learn about the strong powers of faith...I also cried while reading this..I am glad these two days are over now and you can put them behind you and just enjoy your time together..... emoticon
    3548 days ago
    I can't believe it is a year already! Pat has made such a wonderful recovery. God truly has blessed both of you. Much love in your life, and God walks with you.
    Judi emoticon
    3548 days ago
    Ellen, you know my heart is with you as well as prayers that you will find peace over the next day and that tomorrow will pass and God's grace will be there with you as it always has been. Cuddle with Pat and be blessed with the love you have for each other. Hugs dear friend.

    3549 days ago
    Ellen ~ What a blessing God has given you!!!! I remember going thru all of that with you.....from a distance, of course!!!! In 1998, I think, Jim had his first big stroke & I went thru a very similar course!!!! And I can FULLY appreciate your journey, because mine was very similar!!!! God is SO good & His Grace is sufficient!!!! I LOVE my Pink sisters!!!! Y'all are the best support system EVER!!!! I could never make it through my days if it weren't for y'all!!!! Give Pat a BIG HUG & just love on him!!!!
    Hugzz ~ Jae

    PS ~ Give PuppyDoodle a hug too!!!! LOL LOL!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3549 days ago
  • no profile photo CD534346
    emoticon Ellen -Yes it has been quite a year hasn't it? What an awesome testimony of God's Grace through it all!!!

    Crying happy tears with you as I read your powerful summary of all the year held and yet I know this only is the tip of the iceburg.

    Blessed you are sweetie! Yes -take time to rembered to give your guy an extra cuddle and rejoice for all God has done!!!

    3549 days ago
    I had no idea about any of this. So sorry that it happened in the first place but i'm so happy that everything turned out for the best. It would be terrifying going through what you went through. Hugs.
    3549 days ago
  • NH_MOM
    Buster is adorable! Just remember that God won't give you more than you can handle. From the sounds of this blog you are a very strong woman. emoticon
    3549 days ago
    My eyes just swelled with tears, not from sadness, from joy. The grace love can show us is beyond words. This spoke to my soul. I'm blessed that I have 'met' you! Thank you so much for sharing this.
    3549 days ago
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