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Like a Stuck Doorbell....

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It's funny. Since summer took a walk to the other end of the globe...and it's been too cold and the air has been too full of woodsmoke for me to be able to continue my outdoor "powerwalking" program,...I've been turning to that queen of video workouts...the exercise phenomenon and guru of us chubbies....Leslie Sansone. People adore her. Worship her. They collect her massive output of DVDs and religiously march, side-step, and kickback to the beat of driving synthesizer music with which can barely be heard above Leslie's constant perky chatter and her frequent giggles. Depending on the mood I'm in...I either ignore the babble and just focus on her directions and the counting of the steps...which are remarkably accurate and all one needs to keep up with what is going on on the screen, without needing to watch...or I amuse myself by hurling insults at the hapless motivator who is innocently continuing with the drivel and the lines which by now are burned into my frontal lobe by the daily repetition and by the fact that the same jokes, the same information the same steps are reiterated on every single one of her forty million videos.

And yet, there is comfort in this familiarity and I feel quite certain that Leslie herself is quite unperturbed by my repeating the very same comebacks and insults which I fire at her daily as well...It is like a comfortable ritual...You drive me crazy...while you also completely ignore the fact that I am relentlessly mocking you as both of us step and sweat together in the quest for slender fitness. And Leslie, I do have to admit...you've gotten me from the point of falling breathless to the ground after a fairly leisurely one mile....to being able to HUSTLE at full speed for a solid 60 minutes of aerobic walking and exercising with nary a gasp. And that, my friend in tights; my sister in sweat....is a major miracle.

So I'm sure that my gratitude for her program far outshines my mockery at her bubble-headed femininity in which I am sure I share no part...despite the double X in my chromosomal makeup...Leslie and I are different animals altogether....but one thing we both share: our sexy tushes and our ever-thinning thighs and our passion for hustling our fit bodies into quivering sweaty masses of gratitude at the 5 mile marker....

And now...nursing two hips destroyed by arthritis and facing bilateral replacement surgery in the immediate future, I sadly say adieu to my stacks of videos and dvds all graced by Leslie's perky self and I fight the temptation to play them just to pretend like I'm still sidestepping with grace accompanied by Leslie's inane chatter...which I (don't tell any one because I'll deny it) now sorely miss.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CONTENTCHRIS
    I know you will make it through the double or even triple surgeries fine. Your that strong and a awesome person. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I will pray for your battle with the steroids and being able to eat healthy. May be your friend will be able to help you keep the food intake down when your first out of the hospital. I hear people all the time that had been told they would never walk again that do and if any body will be able to it is you! Time flys by in this world on our way to a much better place. Do the best you can a little at a time and you will be back to doing what you want soon enough.
    Remember also I am here to chat any time as well message me day or night as I am up till 130 est most nights.
    Your Pal , Chris
    3535 days ago
  • JHADZHIA
    I so understand this, I miss my videos, for me its Kathy Smith cheery, pull those abs in, sit back in that squat, etc. my turn to keep you in my thoughts for this upcoming surgery for you..
    emoticon emoticon
    3536 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7658463
    Hugs. I am so sorry to hear you can't listen to leslie's charming screachy laugh that sounds like nails scratching on the calkboard. LOL. I wish there was some miracle that could heal your body my friend.


    3536 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    Hey darls! Love your wit and sarcasm running through your blog .. Gave me a giggle !!
    ok now it is time for you to respect your body and listen to what it is telling you!
    No doubt the effects of the cortisone has worn off and you are now not grabbing any thing in sight that is edible. so a little gentle exercise is good... but not to long ..just a 10 mins at a time perhaps twice a day..
    You can sit on a chair or lie on your bed and lift weights ... They do not have to be huge .. just a 500gm in each hand will do the trick!! .
    That will keep your metabolism up and burning cals . Stay well and cheery ... hugs Susie emoticon
    3537 days ago
  • LUNADRAGON
    You shine through your words, your spirit and determination are strong! I am proud of you, my friend, despite the odds, the pain, and the stack of DVD's. Hugs! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3537 days ago
  • BELLAMEMAW
    I'm sure it's not a coincidence that I clicked on your blog this evening to read. I'm 51 and had a left hip replacement in April 2004. I used to do one of Kathy's dvd's before having the surgery and I do credit her with helping me to lose weight 'back then'. I was able to slowly but surely get back to powerwalks after the surgery but you have to take your time and LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. I find myself having to back off from aggresive walks because my body reminds me that the old grey mare.....yadda, yadda, yadda. I recently bought another Sansone dvd a few months back and do it when I want to change things up a bit. I also use my elliptical a lot.

    You'll do great! If you want to talk, shoot me an email. Also, I just recently found (and joined) a team here at SP called "Hip replacement: before and after" (who knew!!) :-) Thanks for blogging. Pat emoticon
    3537 days ago
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