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Convoluted thoughts

Friday, January 21, 2011

I realized yesterday that not only has winter weather kept me from the gym or the walking club I signed up for at the local mall but the fact that I don't even have any workout clothes I wouldn't be ashamed to be seen in because I am too fat to go to the gym. That is sad and pitiful and probably so many other emotions. ::::thud::::

I AM trying but not hard enough. I make deals and excuses for not doing enough often enough. I HAVE to work out double or triple time or the weight will continue to pack (not creep) on. I CANNOT use my health issues as excuses not to do it or they will only get worse as I gain. The heavier I am, the more likely I am to throw yet another clot. The Hashimoto diagnosis has many of the same symptoms as the other autoimmune disorders - fatigue, weight gain etc. The meds for the migraines and acute neuropathy have caused weight gain so we're trying something else since I randomly stopped taking the one they thought I was still taking resulting in multi day migraines and "wobbles" (my term for the unsettling unsteadiness and sometimes falling down).

A new day and a fresh slate to keep on keeping on.

Snow sparkling like confetti as it blows off the trees with the sun glistening
Birds outside on the feeder
A great cup of coffee
Walking any where and every where
Learning to dance
Playing in the snow
Walking the beaches of so many islands on my bucket list
Making love
A fireplace or woodstove fire warming me as I read
My sweetie's hugs
Flying first class
The smell of rain or freshly cut grass
The sound of waves crashing
A good book
Singing in the car - LOUDLY
Snuggling under the covers in great linens
Old people walking and holding hands
Making a difference
Being a good friend
Preparing meals for my friends and family
Taking cooking classes
The wedding song/dance at Bri's wedding
Being at Steven's wedding
Holding my first grandchild
Decorating my home
Walking on t he beach
Home is where I make it
And so much more....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon sending you positive thoughts and hoping that you're realizing all the good things each day. Just keep on trying and smiling. emoticon
    3685 days ago
    If you dont feel comfortable at the gym, try exercise videos and do it at home. Start off with what you feel comfortable with and go from there.
    3687 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3376709
    I have a lot of the same symptoms as you thyroid disease, autoimmune disorder and I use to always have some kind of excuse not doing this or that and why I can lose weight. I finally started focusing on all the things I could do and eat as healthy as possible and then the weight started coming off...slow and steady. You can do it all you have to do is believe in yourself.
    3690 days ago
    Sweet and beautiful woman - hurray for recognizing your excuses and setting them aside to focus on the positive. Please please in your effort to hold yourself accountable don't forget to accept accountability for EVERYTHING - including being such a loving source of support and encouragement for others.

    I'm so sorry for your struggles, and will hold you in my prayers.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3690 days ago
  • CHARQ09
    I'm so sorry to hear of your battle with autoimmunity. My mother suffers from polymyositis. It's been at least ten years now I think and it took a long time to pin point the diagnosis. I also have a friend who is currently going through the diagnosis process. There is an organization here in Michigan called the American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association which has good information related to autoimmunity and coping. They champion the cause in Washington and work to bring awareness to the plethora of diseases related to autoimmunity. You might find some helpful information at their website, www.aarda.org. My thoughts and prayers are with you...
    3690 days ago
    Good for you for not giving up and focusing on the positive! I noticed that you had learning to dance on your list. I felt the same as you about going to the gym. A local belly dance teacher was giving classes close by. I decided to take a chance. I was expecting a room full of skinny people. But, there were ladies of ALL kinds having fun and accepting themselves for who they are. Fast forward 4 years, I'm actually teaching for that teacher, competing in competitions and have lost 70 lbs. I fell in love with the dance and I love all my belly dance sisters. In fact, one of my belly dance sistes was diagnosed w/ hashimoto's. She started up bellydance to feel better and strenghten her core.

    Blessings and positive thoughts:

    Kim emoticon
    3690 days ago
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