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Overwhelmed and losing my mind!!! (A Rant)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I am so FRUSTRATED!!!! I've been dealing with some health issues lately and because of that I haven't been able to do much. Not only have I not been able to exercise because of the pain but I've fallen behind on my housework because of it!!! I have OCD and falling behind on housework is a MAJOR trigger for panic attacks and so on for me. I've been doing my best to catch up on some things BUT when you are hurting so bad you can barely stand or walk what are you supposed to do? I'm going to call my doctor in the morning and see if they can get me worked in before my normal appointment scheduled for the 31st. I stopped taking my OCD/Depression medicine over a month ago without telling my doctor because it made me sleep all the time. Now I'm paying the consequences more than ever before.

We bought a new scale this morning so that we can weigh in the privacy of our own home. Before this we were having to go to my husbands job and weigh on the cargo scale. That's how far I've let myself go. We bought a scale that weighs up to 400 lbs. and I was scared to death to get on it for fear that it wouldn't weigh me. I was ashamed of what I weighed and even started crying when I realized that my husband saw what it said. I am having a hard dealing with the fact that I weigh 80 some pounds more than he does. I'm going to start working out tomorrow if it kills me!!!!! With the amount of pain I've been in lately it may just do that!!!!! PLEASE pray for me that I make it through this next week without completely losing my mind.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi, your blog touched me and I promise I will pray for you! Prayer is powerful. I weigh almost 100 pounds more than my husband. I'm not going to lie exercise is VERY hard when your so overweight...for the longest I used to be hard on myself and felt that there was something wrong with me that I must be too lazy because I couldnt exercise...well it is very hard moving around all that extra weight...so what has helped me is that I dont think of it as exercising anymore...I just know I have to move. I have 5 kids and my husband...for years I've been used to asking one of the kids or my husband to bring me a cup of juice or soda, or make me a sandwich or bring me the remote, a tissue...anything. didn't have the motivation to even get up off the sofa or out of the bed. I don't suffer from OCD but I can only imagine how you feel. I started making small commitments everyday, like dont ask anybody to bring me anything if I want it bad enough get up and get it myself. start paying attention to what I like thats actually healthier than the bad thing...frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, popcorn instead of chips...so i'm still snacking as much as I always did but with better substitutes...i know that doing this wont get me to my desired weight but its a start...and this start has helped me lose 10 pounds so far. No major exercise or deprivation of any kind...as a result its motivated me to try a little hard and push myself a little further....I know you can do this...you just have to start small and work your way up...or should I say down! down the pounds!
    3650 days ago
    You can do this, but please do it safely. Don't push yourself too hard to work out and do things if you are hurting. Pick one small thing to start with and work up from there. ...And don't worry about weighing more than your husband. I also weigh more than mine, and I always will because of the differences in our builds.
    3653 days ago
  • GERI0882
    you can do it! don't get discouraged you can achieve ur goal one pound at a time :) SP is a great place to find encouragement, motivation and lot and lots of support.

    best wishes :)

    3655 days ago
    I know how you feel my husband doesnt need to lose any weight just me and by a lot! I weigh 100lbs more than my husband. Just keep thinking to yourself soon I will be less that him lol thats what keeps me motivated!
    3655 days ago
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