An Aimless Spark
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
while my life has been "on hold" temporarily for whatever this illness is or may be...my eating habits have deteriorated badly...
Most of the time, my small desire for food has not merited the effort of preparing it.
I've had little appetite...so I've become a "nibbler" -- something will sometimes"sound good" and the first bite or two will taste good...but then I will suddenly feel so full that I'm afraid it all may come right back up again...the most I've eaten at a time in weeks is a half of a hamburger (no bun) and a few bites of cottage cheese at a diner on Sunday....or yesterday: an Eggo topped with fruit and a bit of cool whip....And these things left me very uncomfortable in the "tummy".... and often struggling with nausea.
So, I've become a "snacker". I made up a bunch of snack bags of homemade trail mix out of fruit that I had dehydrated myself in times past mixed with almonds, pepitas, and chocolate covered peanuts with a few yogurt covered raisins. I'll carry it around and once in a while pop in a bite.
I had a cup of soup at Quickcheck yesterday (which btw was very good: mushroom, brie). I've been finding myself reintroducing coffee to my diet after not drinking any of it for a number of years. Not sure how i feel about this...in fact most of my organic, clean, well-rounded habits of eating have pretty much gone right out the window. I'll eat what ever is available that sounds good...even if it is a few bites of a Symphony chocolate bar at the Walmart checkout.
I have a funny story to tell you...The other day, a friend took me grocery shopping at Price Chopper. (this was before the hemorrhaging got too heavy to go out anywhere)...I was wearing my neck brace, which I wear frequently...mostly when I'm at home, just for pain relief....and also the orthopedic surgeon has me encased back in my massive waist to thigh brace for my hip....and I was riding one of the store's electric scooters around the store to shop, really and honestly never thinking anything about what I looked like to others...
Well, little old ladies cleared paths for me, and tsked tsked sympathetically and people fell over themselves holding doors for me and getting out of my way...A woman came up to me and said, "would you like me to go around the store with you take things from the shelves for you??" I shook my head, a little bewildered (I"m SO clueless sometimes), "No, thanks for asking , but I think I can manage." And while I wondered at all of this, I didn't really think deeply on it so didn't realize why it was.
After I paid for my items, I was looking for my friend who had driven me...and couldn't find her...One of the employees saw me looking around for someone, and came up to me, grasped me by the arm (by this time I was walking) and led me over to a chair which she'd pulled out for me...she told me to "sit right here, and I"ll find your friend." So she paged her. And then offered to carry all of my groceries out to the car for us. Suddenly , like a light bulb went on and I realized the reason for all the sympathy and concern....it was all of the braces I was wearing! lol.
I think I'll have to wear them more often!...Usually people are so rude in this area of the country....and to see them so helpful was very nice....and very very odd.
Anyway...I haven't bothered tracking...because to account for a bite here and a bite there...really would be difficult...I'm sure I'm not eating too much...so I guess it doesn't matter.
I really miss tracking...I have no fitness to report *sob*...and no food to list. I'm a lost soul...an aimless Spark.