Temporarily "NOT ALL THERE" but still here
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I promised a blog. So here it is.
A lot has been happening in my life...I've been having all I can deal with and maybe more than that on my plate.
You may have noted my "absence" in the Sparkdom. Well, I've been here, Kindof.
Still keeping track of some friends. Still hearing from some persistent lovely Sparkers who ignore my lack of response, somehow understanding that that has just been beyond my ability lately. It's all I can do to put food into my body, drink enough to survive and keep on breathing.
I had a hip replacement ....on the first of the month, I think. Had some physical issues which provided complications and extra struggle in the midst of the process. Went to rehab for a week and came home after a total of two weeks.
Then my daughter. My 18 year old only daughter and m best friend notified me that she is going away ...for five months.
when I have trouble dressing myself. Cannot do laundry. Cook. Or put a thought together.
She leaves tomorrow at 4 AM.
Taking my heart with her.
I've been sleeping a lot. I am usually a terrible sleeper. Usually survive on only a couple of hours in a day/night cycle. But now, if I'm up for more than a couple of minutes, my eyes close and I will fall asleep, literally, standing up. In the midst of conversation.
I guess this surgery has taken a lot out of me. Seems to be a lot worse than my first one, despite the infection I had with the first one. It could be merely the anesthesia that is making functioning so hard for me right now. I tend to have a period of confusion afterward...although this time, immediately, it did not seem to be so bad. maybe the reaction has just been spread out over time.
I miss feeling strong;
I miss being "In" my body.
I miss feeling thin and in control.
Right now, every single thing in my life feels out of control.
Please be patient with me.
I will come back.
Please do not think I'm rude if I don't say "thank you" to Goodies or notes.
I see each one of them and send you a mental surge of gratitude. Sometimes though, lately, that's all I've been capable of.
I will be back.