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Missing my Dad on his birthday

Friday, February 18, 2011

Today would of been my dad's 82 birthday.

No matter how hard I try to concentrate on other things and sparking, my thoughts keep going back to him.

I have a hole in my heart that only my dad can fill. He was my rock and always will be as I listen to my inner voice recalling his strong assurances that I could do anything I put my mind to.

My dad taught me what unconditional love is. He was not the one to come right out and say "I Love You and he was not the lovey dovey huggy kind of guy BUT he was one to always be there to bail me out of whatever situation I managed to get myself into and he NEVER gave up on me. I was never a secure teenager and loved to party in my young adult years, how he put up with me I will never know.

I remember the day I graduated from my Alcohol and Drug counseling Certificate Program. It was my big day yet I went out and bought my Dad the new outfit (dockers, shirt, and even a pair of brand new loafers) as he was one not to spend the money on himself but rather on his home and kids. I saw the glint of pride in his eyes as he met my intructors and they said how smart his daughter was.

Dad taught me the importance of family and sticking by one another no matter what. Enjoy the good times and leave the bad behind. To help ensure his family stayed together every summer we took the annual summer 2 week vacation to Cape Cod and still do. It is ironic he hung on for the last vacation and in fact died the night we got home. I see my dad in every sunrise over the ocean, every sunset over the shoeline with the Sagamore bridge in the backdrop, and every rainbow that appears after the storm.

It was my privelage to take care of you Dad for the last 2 years of your life. I am trying my best to keep my promise to take care of mom and keep her in the house. How I just wish I had learned more from you . The last few months you tried to cram showing me how to mow the lawn, use the weedwacker, edge the walkway, drain the furnace, replace circuit breakers, and on and on. Oh Dad, I just didn't have enough time to take it all in. so if you are listening dad and reading this could you send an extreme home makeover this way.

The hole in my heart remains and I try to keep it plugged with memories of you, carrying on the legacy of family, and taking care of your precious wife.

Happy Birthday Dad
Forever in my heart
Your loving daughter,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINDAF49
    Nancy, I've been spending some time getting to know you better through your spark page and this blog about your Dad is amazing!! so well written from your heart and says it all. Bless you for sharing and letting me cry with you as i read it through several times. Sending you love, gentle hugs and praying for the loving memories to make your first day of spring special for you and Mom. God Bless. ~Linda
    3679 days ago
    3699 days ago
    NANCY..I am sure your DAD beams with joy as he looks down on his warm-hearted, friendly, and caring daughter. I am sure he is very proud of you and also for you. How wonderful that you and your dad had such a loving relationship. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story with all of us here.
    3704 days ago
    3706 days ago
    What a moving tribute. I too lost my father several years back he was only
    47 years old. I will always miss him he was a very good father. I had no idea how young 47 years old was then. emoticon
    3706 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    WOW, what a beautiful tribute to your day.

    Very well said. I can see your love for him. Fortunately, his love passes on through you.

    Let's Rock our world in 2011~
    3709 days ago
  • KNOBLE0309
    I know its tough Nancy. I lost my dad almost 5 years ago (he died March 3, 2006) and I still miss him terribly. Just remember no matter where your dad is at, you are always his little girl and he is watching over you at all times! emoticon
    3709 days ago
  • no profile photo JANETK53
    Memories are wonderful to keep us close to the ones we loved....and still love...will always love....just because we don't see them with our eyes, we have them in our hearts..

    BRAVO! for being YOU, for being LOVED and for your DAD being LOVED on his Special Day!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3709 days ago
  • VXWALL1942
    Nancy, what a beautiful tribute to a beautiful man. (He'd have a fit at that one I'll bet. lol) Thanks for sharing what he meant to you, and what you meant to him. His love is with you still and always will be. Whether its his birthday, or just an ordinary day when you remember his lessons, know that love was what worked between you and still does.

    3709 days ago
  • MONTY68
    What a beautiful writing of you and your dad. He indeed seemed to be a very special person. I believe the person that you are is directly related to your love of your dad and his love for you. He would be proud of you on a daily basis with all the love and support you give to us. Your love carries over with the care you give your mom and I can appreciate and know what you are doing. It takes a special person and that you are.
    Thank you for sharing his birthday with us and your continued success and love you share with others.

    Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3709 days ago
    What a lovely post Nancy. Your dad would be proud of all that you do. I hope you keep thinking of those happy memories... I lost my dad a few years ago, so I know the pain...
    3709 days ago
    Your memories are precious, Nancy. I wish your father a happy birthday.
    3710 days ago
    Nancy this is a wonderful piece of writing and a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. It is no surprise that you miss him He will always be a part of you.
    3710 days ago
    Hugs today for your memories.
    Hugs for your mom.
    Happy Birthday to your dad.
    I am blessed by your friendship.
    My tears are for you to heal with that unconditional love he gave you.
    Blessings today for all you do for others,
    Thank you Nancy,
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3710 days ago
    What a wonderful and moving tribute to your father, Nancy!
    I can imagine how badly you miss him; I miss my dad too.
    I think you are doing a wonderful job of caring for your mother and the house!
    Your dad must be proud.
    Hugs, Leslie
    3710 days ago
  • BARBIE176
    What an awesome tribute to your dad. He sounds like a very wonderful and caring individual. So glad that you were able to take care of him in his last years and learn what you could from him. So nice to have that kind of relationship between a loving dad and a beautiful daughter.! May you find peace today in the beautiful memories you have of your dad!

    3710 days ago
    I know it's tough Nancy, but it's great that you have such positive memories of your Dad. We'll all be with you today!

    3710 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8180433
    Sorry for your loss. I am dreading the time whenever it comes that my dad goes. I know he is getting older but I just don't want to ever lose him.
    3710 days ago
    Such a moving tribute about the relationship between a loving dad and a beautiful daughter. May you find a little peace this day knowing how much your dad loved you and what a wonderful person you turned out to be.

    3710 days ago
    You've heard it a thousand times, and here it is again, but with meaning: "It will be easier in time."

    My dad passed in 2005, he would have been 91 this April. I still miss both of my parents, but time does help the healing heart. For sure. Like you, I was caretaker at the end for both of them.

    I ask of you one thing: give yourself some uninterrupted quiet time to think and pray alone. If you listen carefully, you will hear from Him.
    3710 days ago
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