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Time to Fly

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I have had such a beautiful and productive day. I feel confident in the plan we have made in preparation for my sons graduation and wedding this coming weekend. We aren't overly complicated or high maintenance type people. I do like to have a plan that looks at the whole picture and break it down into manageable pieces.

Today we (husband and I) went to Indianapolis to get the pork loin, crackers, cheeses, paper products, nuts, hummus, pita, pickles, etc. that we need for the various events that we are hosting. Everything went off without a hitch today. We had a nice lunch outside, the weather was gorgeous.

When we got home I put away foods while DH went to the store to rent a carpet steamer. The carpets have been steamed, the dining tables have been extended to seat a number of guest and the linens are on the tables. All the platters and serving dishes are stacked on the tables. The menu is planned and I will start cooking on Thursday. The menu is pretty simple and clean for the most part. I did get my sons favorite cheese crackers and tortillas. everything else will be fresh and homemade. I'll be sure to take some pics and pass along some recipes to you.

Lately I have been doing a lot of reading and writing while my husband drives. It's the only time I can fit in as much reading as I want. I've always been a journaler. Lately I have started keeping a notebook opened beside me all the time to jot down thoughts as they come to mind.

I have been so conflicted for months now about when is the right time to pursue the passion of my heart fully. I have come to realize that what has been holding me back is fear. Fear of failing, fear of letting my husband down or putting too much financial burden on him . . . fear that I might succeed and that I don't know how that would feel. Some personal things have happened these past couple weeks that were hurtful. These hurts made me a little more unsure of how to proceed towards my dreams. Then I realized that the people who love me, love me whether I succeed or fail. I have value to those who value me. I cannot fail if I am honoring the purpose I was created for. The only way I can truly fail is if I fail to try.

The style of writing I do is free flow. Whatever comes into my mind I write without trying to control it, think of it's consequences, or in anyway censor it. Often this type of flow reveals to me many truths. Some of those truths I do not like because they show an area of my heart that needs refining, softening or strengthening. Sometimes what is revealed is my truest gut.

Here is what I wrote today, I will not censor it or correct any grammar:

Nestea Plunge!

Let's Go!

I'm ready!

Sink or Swim, I'm diving in!

Trusting that as I jump from the 'safety' of the plan into the great unknown the fullness of my parachute will open providing the most amazing adventure.

******End of Writing*******

In light of these thoughts, feelings, passions and desires, I am ready to plan, pack my bags and prepare for a grand adventure. The months of June and July will be about exploring the opportunities that I am most passionate about and opening myself fully towards my hearts desire for my future. I have so many fabulous opportunities and ideas. It's time. I feel it.

Thank you for joining with me on this journey. Your support, encouragement and stories of triumph fuel me to pursue only the best for myself and my family.

Life is beautiful! Embrace it fully!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    With all that you have accomplished in the last year I have no doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to do.
    Go kick butt!
    3421 days ago
    I know you can do it. I have a wall plaque that says " If you can imagine it, you can achieve it" Go for it!
    3422 days ago
  • IONA72
    Go for it girl, I have every faith in you.
    3422 days ago
  • EILEEN160
    It's often said that discouragement is the devil's best tool. It comes in many forms,

    like hurts from others. May God encourage you.

    Hope this coming weekend is delighful for you and your family!

    Eileen emoticon
    3422 days ago

    I have this in large letters on one of my living room walls. I think I need to heed the message.

    emoticon Kelli
    3423 days ago
  • TWALKER0475
    I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman in the background, too! I just finished a fear of failure blog myself, then read Amy's latest and now yours...seems this is a common theme lately!

    You cannot fail if you reframe success to mean going for your dream and giving it your all...even if you don't end up where you thought you would, you are a success for stepping outside your comfort zone and daring to chase the life you envision! You are absolutely on the mark when you say that the people who love you will love you no matter what comes of your journey...they love you not for what you accomplish but for who you are!
    3423 days ago
    I hear Stephen Curtis Chapman playing in the background! IT IS TIME! Sink or swim...
    3423 days ago
    Carolyn, I can hardly wait to hear more. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear where the next chapter in your journey will be taking you as you fly high. No need to be afraid - you have the keys and the faith and you are flying high!!!!
    3423 days ago
  • JLITT62
    I know I still let fear hold me back from things. Probably my biggest failing. But this I know for sure: if I could run a business, you definitely can!
    3423 days ago
    Oh Carolyn I love your blogs. Besides your wonderful productive day, what you are writing about is something I understand. If you get a chance read my Spark blog "I bought a notebook, but didn't quite know why". It's on Buster Fitness but probably easier to find on Spark (paulamarief) about 4 or 5 blogs ago. Follow your dreams, it's time.

    3423 days ago

    God has not given us a spirit of fear! Follow your heart.
    3423 days ago
    You can dream it, believe emoticon
    3423 days ago
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