I have had such a beautiful and productive day. I feel confident in the plan we have made in preparation for my sons graduation and wedding this coming weekend. We aren't overly complicated or high maintenance type people. I do like to have a plan that looks at the whole picture and break it down into manageable pieces.
Today we (husband and I) went to Indianapolis to get the pork loin, crackers, cheeses, paper products, nuts, hummus, pita, pickles, etc. that we need for the various events that we are hosting. Everything went off without a hitch today. We had a nice lunch outside, the weather was gorgeous.
When we got home I put away foods while DH went to the store to rent a carpet steamer. The carpets have been steamed, the dining tables have been extended to seat a number of guest and the linens are on the tables. All the platters and serving dishes are stacked on the tables. The menu is planned and I will start cooking on Thursday. The menu is pretty simple and clean for the most part. I did get my sons favorite cheese crackers and tortillas. everything else will be fresh and homemade. I'll be sure to take some pics and pass along some recipes to you.
Lately I have been doing a lot of reading and writing while my husband drives. It's the only time I can fit in as much reading as I want. I've always been a journaler. Lately I have started keeping a notebook opened beside me all the time to jot down thoughts as they come to mind.
I have been so conflicted for months now about when is the right time to pursue the passion of my heart fully. I have come to realize that what has been holding me back is fear. Fear of failing, fear of letting my husband down or putting too much financial burden on him . . . fear that I might succeed and that I don't know how that would feel. Some personal things have happened these past couple weeks that were hurtful. These hurts made me a little more unsure of how to proceed towards my dreams. Then I realized that the people who love me, love me whether I succeed or fail. I have value to those who value me. I cannot fail if I am honoring the purpose I was created for. The only way I can truly fail is if I fail to try.
The style of writing I do is free flow. Whatever comes into my mind I write without trying to control it, think of it's consequences, or in anyway censor it. Often this type of flow reveals to me many truths. Some of those truths I do not like because they show an area of my heart that needs refining, softening or strengthening. Sometimes what is revealed is my truest gut.
Here is what I wrote today, I will not censor it or correct any grammar:
Sink or Swim, I'm diving in!
Trusting that as I jump from the 'safety' of the plan into the great unknown the fullness of my parachute will open providing the most amazing adventure.
******End of Writing*******
In light of these thoughts, feelings, passions and desires, I am ready to plan, pack my bags and prepare for a grand adventure. The months of June and July will be about exploring the opportunities that I am most passionate about and opening myself fully towards my hearts desire for my future. I have so many fabulous opportunities and ideas. It's time. I feel it.
Thank you for joining with me on this journey. Your support, encouragement and stories of triumph fuel me to pursue only the best for myself and my family.
Life is beautiful! Embrace it fully!