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I just committed a pre-meditated binge...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Honestly, I planned it all day, from the moment I woke up. I sat in anticipation at my desk, waiting for the hour to arrive when I could go to the convenience store and buy my lunch. I knew exactly what I was going to get. A turkey sandwich and some fruit (to bring back to my desk), and then the muffins, cookies, candy, whatever I felt looked good, were to eat in my car on the way back to work, so no one would see. I haven't done this for years. There was a time when I hit two convenience stores in a row, so I didn't have to buy it all in one store.

So, what triggered it? Is it this rainy, dreary, depressing weather? Is it because it's a boring day at work because of this rainy, dreary weather? Is it because it's been a rather stressful week with it being the first week of having kids home on summer vacation and I mentally couldn't take another day of being strong? Is it hormonal? Is it because I am completely out of groceries and I just decided, "screw it"? Does is matter??

What bothers me the most about this is that I had no intention of just fantisizing about it and not doing it. I did not pack my lunch today, for I knew it was going to happen. I was excited for it to happen. Is this normal? Has this happened to you?

Is this the end of the world? NO. Does this mean I will not get back on track tomorrow? NO. I'm truly curious who out there does this, even on a more regular basis? Stand up and be counted. Let's work this through.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    For me, the rainy weather has topped off my 'need to binge meter'. I'm a little burnt out with the work that has been going on around home, the kids, lack of personal time this week. The rain again today has really made me want to BAKE. If I bake I know I'll eat way too much of it. I know it. I'm still fighting the good fight though. We'll see.....

    But yes, I would say that when I do binge, it's usually planned. Certainly not always, but usuallly, like when going to town or a special meal. Ok, kids are calling for me, again, better go. :-)
    3443 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4378026
    Yep I've done this and more often than I'd like to admit. With me it seems to be an hormonal thing, right around same time every month. And it always comes after doing consistently well for awhile, maybe even starting to see positive changes then bam I ruin it. It seems hormonal but also self sabotaging, wth?
    I think you have done the right thing here by recognizing it instead of hiding it, you'll conquer it for sure:) Tomorrow is a new day so cheers to it!
    3443 days ago
    WooHoo, 7356Wilma! Congrats on making the right choice!

    Michaela: I don't know that there is anything wrong with you, if there is, there is something wrong with ALL of us!

    It just makes me ponder about the methods we use to try to lose weight, and get healthy. So often, it's an all or nothing approach that leaves you destined for days like these, ya know?
    3443 days ago
  • 7356WILMA
    I have to say that yes I have done this!!! I CONFESS!!! emoticon I justify it by saying if I don't do this once in a while I'll totally go off the wagon. Sounds good at the time. Now my passion isn't the cookies or the candy bars its the salty chips.

    Last week I planned all week for my trip to the cabin that I was going to stop on the way and buy a bag of popcorn (the kind of bag you buy at the movie theatres). No witnesses no one the wiser. And they didn't have any made. So settled for a single serving bag of pistachios.

    I call these my two steps forward and 1 step back learning!!!
    3443 days ago
    I do the same thing. I snack, snack, snack and binge, binge, binge, almost always followed by a few days of feeling horribly crummy. Actually, if anything, I need to get on track right this moment and stop this horrible behavior. I went out to to eat on Wednesday and scarfed down my whole plate of food like a pig followed by snacking the rest of the evening. And I had planned it too, was excited about it, even though I was preaching to myself the day before that I need to start eating healthy again (or at the very least STOP THE SNACKING!) and regulate my workout routine. But I can't focus myself enough to do it. What is wrong with me?!?!
    3443 days ago
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