Ice Cream Epiphany
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
As i've mentioned before i struggle a lot with food. Not in the traditional sense but in that i severely limit my intake. 700-900 calorie days were my life for the past 2 years and i never lost any of the weight.
Last night i was staring at my nutrition tracker it was hovering around 1200 and I fealt like i couldnt eat anything more, emotionally this change to more calories a day is so counter-intuitve for me that i was crying because i could understand how eating more was going to help. I went downstairs and was rummaging through our freezer when I found the container of vanilla Ice cream. I stopped for a minute looked at it and pulled it out one 1/2cup serving has 150 calories. Wait i needed to eat a minimum of 100 more calories.
I went up to the kitchen and as I was scooping the ice cream it hit me, i could eat ice cream. everytime i've had ice cream or any type of desert in the last year i've hated myself after, for failing or being weak. But it was 150 calories that I could eat/ needed to eat. It was strange it was kind of like a light bulb went on in my head. I can eat more than i've been letting myself, i don't have to cut certain things out just cause i always thought they were inherently bad.
I'm not saying that eating only ice cream is okay, or having ice cream every day is a good idea but I am saying for me letting myself go there and enjoy it was changing. Yes you need to have a balanced diet and eat things that are healthy and giving you the energy your body needs, but sometimes for me it's in a place that i didnt think i could get it.