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Ready, set....CHOKE!

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

NewhorizonsR4me had just blogged about her 63 mile ride. 63 miles--- in 1/2 a day ----not a week! I wrote a congratulatory note on her page. And I told her I was in a terrible rut and she'd motivated me! I decided to tell her of my sudden goal for the next day: Ride up & down the steep, gravelly, dirt hill to my house (currently strewn w/ fallen trees from a micro-burst) which I've been afraid to ride for 14 years. It's a little over .............. one mile. (clears throat....) UPHILL... doesn't that count? Not really.) How about at 8,600' above sea level? (is that as good as 63 miles? uh, nooooooo!) It was a wimpy goal and I was a wimpy person.

So I choked. What if I couldn't do it after I'd told her I was going to? I'd beat myself up the rest of my life. I'd have to quit SP. I wouldn't ever be able to boot up my computer again! Heck, I'd have to leave Colorado in the dark of night. She'd ridden 63 miles! So I deleted the comment telling her of my wimpy goal. You see, I'm afraid to set goals for fear of failing. I don't feel like I've failed a goal; I feel like I've failed LIFE. Just shoot me.

But secretly...I was going to do it. The next morning....well...the stalling began. After all, it would be my first ride since April 28th in CA. It snowed here June 20 for cryin' out loud...and trees are falling over everywhere! And there's a gigantic bull moose in the woods ..we saw his tracks yesterday. And DH fell on this road last week & probably has 1 or more fractured rib(s). So I loaded my bike in the car to go somewhere "civilized" for my first ride. Rode until I'd gone (drum roll, please) 11 miles (woweee-- almost 63 miles, right? noooooo....) Dirt road w/ some good inclines & GIANT mosquitoes (that counts, doesn't it? nooooooo....)

Loaded the bike back in the car to head home shouting, "Wimp, wimp, wimp!" Got to the bottom of THE HILL which goes UP to my house. Realized I had swallowed every drop of water. No one can ride up THAT hill without water, especially Wimps. (notice I'm now a Proper Noun, not a c-o-m-m-o-n noun.)

Stopped The Wimp Car (also a Proper Noun). Took the bike out of the trunk, locked the car (to slow the bear's entry into the car). Headed UP. Shoot...it wasn't THAT tough. A little dicey trying to restart uphill in loose gravel....but only had to do that a couple times. Next time, maybe I'll be strong enough to only have to re-start once...

Excitement engulfed me! DH raised his eyebrows in surprise. And I had enough adrenalin to Zumba with the high school girls that night. (what difference does 4+ decades make? I mean, really?) Thanks, NewHorizons! You are so inspiring!

PS: I was re-reading this...and above the computer monitor, 8' directly in front of me, there was a bear's face touching the window. (Last year a bear ransacked our kitchen & knocked the bedroom dresser over while we were gone....so I'm a little freaked out about bears). It's 9 pm (any bears that come usually show up around 1-2 am & we see the motion light go on...it's not really dark enough..& I didn't see it tonight) I yelled "bear" to dh downstairs. Bear turned, I unlocked the door, went out on the deck where he'd just left, yelled & stomped my feet. He ran across the road, crawled through the fence, up the mtn, leaving little puffs of dust behind his paws. I think I'll put my heart rate monitor on and see what % the heart's beating. Can I count this pounding heart as calorie burn? Is it OK to have a little dark chocolate now?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • REVSERENA
    Isn't that always the way. Deleting the comment doesn't make a lick of difference. As long as You saw the goal (even if only in your own head) you would still be a failure if you didn't achieve it! We are expert at beating ourselves up aren't we?

    But... you did it! You Did It! YOU DID IT!

    Congratulations for overcoming the excuses, the fears, and that negative self talk!

    Just a question. I know that they don't recommend running from bears, because it sparks their instinct to chase, BUT if you are on a bike, and you see a bear, and turn to head down hill, do you figure you could go fast enough to out run it?

    For all our sakes, I hope so! We'd hate to miss your blogs!
    3374 days ago
  • VISUALLYRICS
    (((YOU DID IT!! )))

    ...and Zumba with the high school girls!!!LOL!! emoticon Fitness!!!
    I remember that bear in your house story...Lol! Oh My! (((He's Back!!)))
    ...I just love your blogs....would hate to miss a single one...laughter is your gift!

    love you!! ~ Laura
    3392 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8158758
    Mind over matter! You can do anything you set your mind to do! Of course, as long as your body is conditioned to do what it is you are wanting to do. The person doing 63 miles, probably has done this for a long time and can do it on a regualar basis! I feel the same sometimes when I see how some Spark Friends are like Superwomen, accomplishing things I probably will never do due to my bad knees! Then I think when I walk 3 - 4 miles in one day-hey, that is a new one for me and I did it! Yes, if you can do more, great, work at it each day! Mind over matter! emoticon emoticon
    Yikes, that is so scary-a bear at your window! Hey, you are such a brave woman to even go out that door stomping and yelling at a bear! I wouldn't even do that! emoticon emoticon
    Kick emoticon that bear to the curb! emoticon
    3393 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/7/2011 5:14:23 PM
  • CRAZYGYMGIRL
    Truth is, there's not much you can't do when you put your mind to it. Mostly it's our own negative self-talk that keeps us from accomplishments.

    I'm so proud of you! Every time I read about something great that you've accomplished, I get energized.

    As for the bears ... Honestly, I always wonder how majestic and serene it is where you live and I feel a bit envious.. and then you post another wild animal story and I thank god I live in a big city. Worst we have is an occasional raccoon.
    3393 days ago
  • TERESA159
    Wow, you're even worse than me when it comes to beating yourself up. Instead of being happy with what you accomplished (11 miles! that's no small stuff, especially because of the mosquitoes) you beat yourself up over what you didn't do. BUT THEN, oh glorious THEN, you went and did it!!! Woooooohoooooo! And then Zumba too? You're scaring me now! LOL I want what you're eating!

    About the bears... have you ever tried scaring them away with a flash from a camera? I found that a very effective means of bear control when I was a Girl Scout leader many years ago.
    3393 days ago
  • CBAILEYC
    Replace that wimp with WIN! Pure win! Good for you. That NewHorizons chick is totally inspiring, and it's great that she provided the nudge to get you going. You did it all on your own, and should be very proud of yourself!

    Laughed and yikes'd about the bear. You do lead an exciting life!
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    C~
    3393 days ago
  • CATHEMARIE
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    We're all individuals! We all have to start somewhere! Remove the "W" word from your vocabulary and start where you are.

    Lions and Tigers and BEARS, oh my!!

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    3393 days ago
  • SOCKITTOME
    My goodness! You did great!!! And the bears...yikes. This city girl is staying in the city!
    3393 days ago
  • MEADSBAY
    See?
    You're made of stronger stuff than you thought-
    you just had to have a vision and a little nudge. emoticon


    I won't tell my 2 yr old grandaughter about your blog- just yesterday when my DH was playing with her and pretended to be afraid of something, she said (out of the blue), 'Don't worry, Papa- bears are not real".
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    3393 days ago
  • NEWHORIZONSR4ME
    Woo Hoo you beat down the fear monster. I am enormously proud of you and happy for you!! Riding a hill in gravel scares me! I'm inspired reading about you. Hope you aren't clipped in doing that, but then it probably wouldn't matter it sounds like you've got legs of steel to be pedaling up the hill like you did. Great leg muscles don't come just from cycling though I'm pretty fond of cycling legs. Silly me asked a complete stranger if he was a cyclist the other day. He just had great legs! Nancy I'm very proud of you. So much for the days of light exercise that you were fretting about...
    3394 days ago
  • JANLEH
    Yippeeeeeee! You did it!

    emoticon GIANT mosquitos ... bonus points.

    Bears? NAH ... emoticon

    I'll take your bears and I'll raise you a cougar. I must remember to get a picture of that sign on my favourite bike path. Caution/bears ... now added to Caution/cougar sighted in area. *sigh*

    Isn't NewHorizonsR4me a ROCKSTAR!!!!?????!!!!!!???!!!!?!
    3394 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/6/2011 11:24:35 PM
  • CHEEKY1000
    Yay you!!! Uphill in loose gravel? Yikes! Crazy woman. What an achievement! As for goal setting...totally relate. I've been telling people I'm training for a 5K (which I am, but still...); makes me want to puke because I totally have to follow through. lol emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • CLOVER2
    Thank you, I really love a good belly laugh! What part of Colorado? I'm in Denver, but I get the impression (probably has something to do with the bear), that you're a bit more out of town than that! You did good!



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    3394 days ago
  • NUMD97
    Too funny! Thanks! So you see? You DID IT! Yay you! [How's that for a cheer from a total stranger? Gotta love SP.]

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    All the best as you continue on with your journey (sans more bears, I hope!)

    Nu
    3394 days ago
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