Roller Coaster of Life...Hang on, baby!
Friday, August 05, 2011
Less than a week before our younger son's wedding, I learned that our older son (30--yep, you read it right..don't ask!) had been taken by ambulance 100+ miles to the ER after falling from a skateboard and using his face as the brakes. Broken facial bones, a pure black, swollen, blood-filled eye, his face swollen like a beachball. But younger son wanted him at the wedding no matter how ghoulish he looked and older son wanted to be there. (these 2 are like oil & water....what a shock (and joy!) to hear their fervent desires!) Dr. said, "OK."
The wedding was perfect in every detail. Front row seats are fabulous: watching our son and his love whisper their oaths in each others' ears and watching their young, love-filled eyes sparkle and dance. But the candid camera caught me stealthily dabbing my tears...and posted it! (very ugly) I tried. Really. Really. Hard. not to do that!
The picture-book flowers, decorations and favors, watching the 20-27 yr olds dancing, singing, and laughing outrageously while wearing crowns, boas, tiaras, lobster & witch hats from the photo booth, the joy of sharing it with my two closest friends of 32+ years from hundreds of miles away.....my joy was beyond words.
2 days later, older son's surgery required going up through his mouth to insert titanium under his eye & another batch in his cheek. The week of rest before the surgery had resulted in tremendous healing and improvement. The surgery took him back to the day of the injury --- swollen eye, face, black and blue bruises and severe pain. And more time off the job recovering. Will they hold the job for him in the height of our tourist season? Will the Fire Chief allow him to continue living in the firehouse? Will the son allow his body to heal instead of honoring his band's scheduled gigs this weekend?
Will I let him run his own life OR will I fall back to eating a few bags of M&M's (and maybe some ice cream) to feel less anxious?
YES to #1. And NO to #2. My hand going to my mouth is all I can control. That's IT. Gaining back the lost weight will NOT secure his health, his job or his housing. It WILL secure a return to my old habits. Not. This. Time. Maybe next time....but Not. This. Time.