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Reminiscing & Recovery....

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

I found an old book I used to write in last night and it was an awesome thing.
I had started writing in it when my life was pretty low - just closed a business and shifted house, lost two loved family pets in a month, I had an extremely unhealthy lifestyle (smoking, drinking, other dangerous pastimes) and was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

I was really unhappy but couldn't admit it to myself as I am a "coper" you know someone who just keeps on going in the face of adversity?? Anyway I bought this book and one particularly low evening I began writing in it. What came out was honest and real. I wrote out the main things in my life which were making me unhappy and read and reread what I had written. I had gained weight and felt awful, was depressed and suffering from PTSD and anxiety and was doing nothing for the first time in years!! I decided to make some goal lists.

These ended up being:

Become a lawyer.
Lose 16 kg.

I have now been at Law School for nearly two years and am doing reasonably well - I know I will eventually achieve this goal with hard work and commitment.

I lost 13 kg by Sept 2010.
I gained 5 kg back since then.

I joined SP the night I wrote out these goal lists and feel like one of the ancient members now (that was way back in 2009!!)

Reading over the pages in the old notebook however, I realised that almost all the "incidental" things that had been contributing to my mental state had been eliminated:

Drinking (and I don't mean a glass of wine in the evening)
Inappropriate relationships
I have my health (mostly :))
I have a stable life for my son (except for the earthquakes!!)
I have got some stable male influences for my son
I am doing better at school
I hardly ever eat unhealthily
I workout regularly
I take pride in my appearance
I am getting to know myself
I am getting to know my family
I have more confidence
and I have let the past go.

I have become a new person.

Yet I am still becoming a new person. I am in the middle of my journey.

I guess I may be in the plateau stage of life. Anyway it was an interesting read comparing my goals and dreams then to my goals and achievements now.

This journey can only get better and better right??!!


Enough emoting.


Quarantine is over!!!!! emoticon

Time to recover. Not only from illness but lethargy and eating food which is entirely much more unhealthy than I would usually eat.

I am not packing too much in this week as recovering fully is much more important!!

I am going to:

Write assignment emoticon Didn't do it.
Go to classes emoticon Didn't go.
Walk there emoticon Didn't do it.
Walk back emoticon Didn't do it.
Do ST emoticon DID DO IT!!
Drink Water emoticon Didn't, DID, DID.
Eat my vege and fruit emoticon Didn't, DID, DID.
Rest emoticon DID, Didn't, DID.
Sleep emoticon DID, Didn't Didn't.
Recover emoticon DID 'ish'

Ok so not so good. It is Friday today and I am going to write out my blog today as I feel I need the daily accountability. I am not sleeping very well as my body clock is all messed up after being ill. I have missed alot of class - as has my son - and I think we are both a little anxious about returning to school. I am studying as much as possible, however, with little sleep comes little work. I will do well today (FRI) and get back on track over the weekend (and get my son into his routine) and start fresh on Monday.

Next week - back into the SP way of life again!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are an inspiration, Ana. So glad I read this one. Man alive, I've missed you. I think I need to make a list.
    3481 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7531850
    You, my sparkfriend, are an inspiration!! You manage to stay tough, reevaluate situations, and push through the hard times. Keep it up!! Great things will come!
    3540 days ago
    WOOO HOOO!!!! Look at all that progress you've made! I'm so freaking proud of you!!!!! :D
    3542 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7767704
    I have the upmost admiration for you. Just so proud of you and what you have accomplished. Yay, for the quarintine being over . Is kitty ok?
    3543 days ago
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