Open Palm Insert Blessings
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
In the past two years, I have been soooooo abundantly blessed. The right student trainers came into my life at just the right time to prepare me for a challenge or opportunity. Any obstacles or hurdles I encountered help to prepare me for the opportunities that would be coming next. Such was the case today.
A month ago I gave notice at my job. For the past year I have tried holding a full time job, training for various physical events (half marathons, full marathons, duathlon, etc.) and been studying health, fitness and wellness related courses. I felt that God was preparing me for something, but I was not sure what. My notice to my boss simply said 'opportunity'. People have been asking me to be more specific . . . I cannot because that has not been revealed to me, fully.
In the weeks following my 'resignation' I started feeling a sense of anxiety when I should be feeling peace. The more people who questions 'what I would be doing', the more I doubted that I had made a wise choice and the more I felt the need to MAKE a decision and DO something. I started wanting to grasp onto and reach out for more opportunities. I felt like I had a death grip on FabFit and a need to 'control' the direction of things on the business side of it. I just about drove my family and friends crazy and was starting to exhaust myself. Then, I stepped back onto the mat and in that still quiet breath, I reconnected with the core of who I am, what I love and what I was designed for. I could feel my fingers being pried off the bar as I released 'control' and opened my hands to surrender.
Today I sat at my desk, for the last time that it is my desk, emptying the drawers. It was a very melancholy moment. With each picture I took off the wall and each personal item I placed in the box, I was removing the 'me-ness' from office and it was becoming just an office, just four walls and it felt cold. Then I found the obituary of my boss, Dan. He died just five months after hiring me. Right after I started working there, I had a health scare. My blood pressure was super high and there were concerns that I had had a heart attack or stroke even. Dan sat me down and gave me a 'fatherly' talk about knowing my heart health risks and being proactive about my health. I made a few changes in the coming months, but only lost 12 lbs. in three months. Then Dan died of a catastrophic heart attack.
Holding his obit in my hand today it struck me, that had Dan not hired me, I wouldn't be sitting here today. Had Dan not died in such a traumatic way, I may not have taken my health risks seriously. Had God not placed me in that place at that time, there may not have been a today for me. God is good.
I still do not know what I will be doing or how God may use me. But this I do know, my hand is open, my heart is full and I serve a great BIG God.
Be Brave.Be Bold.Be Fierce.Be Fabulous!