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Leader?!? Pffffbbbbttt!!!

Saturday, September 03, 2011

So, as I ramp up for the upcoming BLC17, I can't help but reflect on the last few months. There have been some good times, exercise and nutrition wise, but mostly, I've been spiraling downwards FAST! I have managed to gain a whopping 15 lbs in the last 6 weeks, AND, I've just sat by (literally) and watched myself do it. I could totally write a "How to gain 15 lbs in 6 weeks" blog with no trouble at all, but I won't. I think that we all know how it happens...this slippery slope into old habits and careless eating. For me, it started when I allowed my favorite ice cream back into the house. I won't share the name, for fear that someone else will fall to it's luring temptatious ways. From there it manifested itself with my complete disinterest in doing the exercise videos (and I love Jillian and how I feel after hanging out with her for 20 minutes). It has been WAY TOO HOT out to walk even in the morning, and hubby has been heading into work early, eliminating my ability to walk with my friend at 5 am. I am full of excuses and full of guilt. The really sad thing is I can remember myself saying to my husband, "I'm never going back" (meaning putting the weight back one) and look at me!!! I am! I've lost focus, and forgotten what is important. My portions have grown by leaps and bounds (both healthy and unhealthy foods) and I am eating to comfort myself and sometimes just because it tastes good and it is there. WHY am I doing this to myself?!? I abandoned my BLC16 buddies about halfway through the summer furlough and by doing so have abandoned myself and my goals and my plans. I was even finding a really hard time getting excited for the upcoming BLC17 (for which I will co-captain a team). Embarassing, but true. HOWEVER, by keeping in contact with my captain and other co-captain and checking in on the captain's challenge chat and "faking it til I make it", I am starting to feel that tinge of excitement. It's there. It is a little "spark" deep inside that I will fan. Please help me fan it. Pray for me! Encourage me! Come along side me (and others feeling down) and pull me up! I promise that I will do the same for you! I am planning on rocking it with my Bombshells this round and I will not look at the what if's and the fact that I was so close to 150, and now get to try again. I will look at the now and the things that I can do to turn this around. Between now and Wednesday the 7th, I will create an inspiration collage and post in on my fridge. I will create 12 weeks worth of healthy goals. A few of which will include getting in my 12 cup of water again, exercising 6 days a week and eating a minimum of 5 freggies a day. I will pull out my blender again and enjoy my Green Dream smoothie, again. I will get to the store and buy some almond milk and some la tortilla factory tortillas (regardless of price or coupon status). I will revisit my fool proof recipe book and embrace them again. I will reconnect with old friends and bombshells and I will meet and get to know new bombshells. I am so excited for the coming weeks. I am excited for me! Leader?!? Yes!!! Leaders fall down, too, you know! This leader is picking herself up, brushing herself off, picking back up the torch and moving forward!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD9697485
    Sandy, it took me way too long to get over here to read your blog...but, I'm here now, and I want you to know that I love you for your honesty and vulnerability in writing it. How amazing is it that we have found a place where we can "let it all out" without fear of judgment or reproach? THIS is why you're here: to draw on the strength and empathy of others who have been where you are, and totally GET it!!

    Now that you see what you've been doing, and are ready to do something about it, GOYBAD, Girlfriend, as you kick that blasted ice cream out the door!!
    3411 days ago
    Oh Sandy, this is all too honest and it's wonderful that you took the time for a big ol' evaluation of these past weeks. You were rocking it only a few short months ago. I just know once you build your routine back up again, in a very short period of time, you will be able to rid that weight. It's kinda like the brain knows and cuz you were so successful, you will do this again. I cannot wait to hear how your BLC17 goes. Please keep in touch!
    3418 days ago
    OK, ladies the tears are about to fall! Thank you so much for the encouragement!! I need it and cherish it!
    3418 days ago
    All of us fall, it's okay. I was a leader of a group on SP and I felt like I let them down when I gained weight at a crazy rate. I know now that it's okay and it's not about how you fall but about how you pick yourself up. You already rocked the picking yourself up part :)

    You can do this!
    3419 days ago
    We all fall down at times Sandy- we all need the motivation and push the BLC gives us:) Dear friend pick yourself up and dust yourself off- you are not in this alone. We will prevail!!

    You have a game plan going...let's get to it! One step at a time. emoticon emoticon
    3419 days ago
    What a refreshing and honest blog! Honey we are all human and we all fall down and make mistakes! What sets us apart from the rest is what we do after we fall! You can do this! Make this round (BLC17) the best and most successful one yet!
    3419 days ago
    Hey Sandy...you are awesome! Loved the blog, you can do this! I know you can... We've done it together...and we'll continue to do it together. emoticon emoticon
    3420 days ago
    I loved your blog post! I like the way you started out slowly, building momentum and enthusiasm along the way. That's how this fight is fought!

    This is a great opportunity for you AND for other team members who've had similar 'slips and falls' too! You can lead the way OUT of that rut and bring others with you - you CAN do it!
    3420 days ago
    My blender is out (as of last Friday) and don't know what team I'm on yet, but we can do this!!
    Long before you are a leader, you are human...progress, one step, one leap, one meal at a time!
    3420 days ago
    Aw, shucks, Paula! We're both gonna rock it!! Ferne, too!
    3420 days ago
    You can do this Sandy! I have every faith in you as my fabulous Co-Captain of the Light Blue Bombshells:-) You are inspiring, amazing and I know you will rock this challenge and get back to where you were during the beginning of Summer. We all have our ups and downs, but we're also always here for each other!

    3421 days ago
    Thank you, ALL!! Kal- I'm hoping to see great things for you and your cougars!! Smallersheep- You are always an inspiration!
    3421 days ago
  • MISSLISA1973
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    3421 days ago
  • DEE797
    I'm a co-cappy as well and can totally relate to your blog. One day at a time.... emoticon
    3421 days ago
    I don't have a lot of experience as a leader, in fact, THAT is the subject of a whole separate blog of my own and I'm not going to hijack yours....sweetie, leaders have foibles; leaders are human and it's important that your team knows it. Trust me; they don't need to see you on some pedestal. Let them see the real, human side of you and you will share a bond that is invincible. You have experienced it before and you will again - maybe the break WAS too long and you need them as much as they need you! :)
    3421 days ago
    Oh girlie, all you need is that tiny spark! We have some AMAZING people getting ready to join us for round 17. Tomorrow's the day we all get to meet each other. Let their excitement rub off on you and you'll be kissing those summer pounds good bye. ((hugs))
    3421 days ago
    Great blog! As a leader of other Spark teams myself, I know there are pitfalls to watch out for and how e..a..s..y.. it is to become complacent. Oh yeah... You made me LOL on letting that ice cream into the house! I REALLY know about the dangers of THAT! (Sadly...) CONGRATS on picking yourself back up and jumping back in the game! See ya over on the Kansas City Spark Team when you get a chance!

    3421 days ago
  • no profile photo THEMRSH
    I get ya! You aren't the only leader that has stumbled this summer. I'm right beside you except I've gone up almost double what you have. I know some others that crawled in this boat with us as well. So, let's get with the program, get back into some routine and kick some 17 Booty!

    My Almond Milk and Tortillas are a STAPLE no matter what the price!
    3421 days ago
    Is there an echo in the room? Gosh, Sandy, I've done the same thing. We both need HELP!!!
    3421 days ago
  • CARANN56
    Oh my gosh - I can SO relate to what you are saying. I have gained weight back this summer also and it is so aggravating. I am also recommitting - thanks for the encouragement I got from your blog! You're gonna do great!


    3422 days ago
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