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just need to share this:

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I have schizophrenia. Don't know if I've admitted that yet on this site. SZ is not having multiple personalities...just want to make that clear. People with SZ suffer from hallucinations and delusions...as well as many many other horrible symptoms. It is a brain disease. NOT something that you can "shake off" or make go away in therapy. It is a disease as real and as sad as cancer.

Just had to say that before I go ahead with my story. the worst part about having schizophrenia, (well MAYBE the worst part) is that people treat you like you are the plague...as though all that's happened to you is your fault. And it is in no way the fault of the victim. They are ILL....physically ill. And will never ever recover. Although it is possible to learn to function to your best ability. And so I am a "recovering schizophrenic." No, it will never go away...and Yes, there will likely be periods of psychosis in my future and probably more hospitalizations. But I am maintaining myself as well as I am able right now.

Tonight I was on a forum for people with SZ and I had spoken of how discouraged I've been with the physical issues.... and of my thoughts not to continue with the surgeries. And one of the men there made this comment at the end of his remark to me...I thought it was one of the most beautiful things ever said to me:

"hope you will keep taking care of your self because you have proved to us and your self that better days are possible,even when we thought that they weren`t."

And a better expression of hope I have never heard before. and it is a challenge put out there for me to live up to. but I will try.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so sorry you have to go through all that. You sound like a remarkably strong person to share this and go through this. Good luck with your complicated journey. I know you can do it. Nancy
    3289 days ago
  • VXWALL1942
    Honesty and open discussion...beautiful. You are doing so well, and I hope you continue to do it. As you wrote recently - 'choose joy' and know that is what it takes to continue the journey in the way you want. Stay the course...and never give up!
    3289 days ago
    3295 days ago
    Bringing things into the light is where they heal. So good for you writing this blog. I don't know much about SZ but am sensitiver towards your plight none the less. God never gives us more than we can bear, and you are proving that through your victory. It is clear that your road is to continue your good health and encourage others that it is possible.
    3296 days ago
    Re the SZ: too many people continue to treat all mental illnesses - regardless of their origin - as 'contagious.' As if...

    What a lovely thing that man wrote! I think if I were you, I would try to inscribe it somewhere so I would see if frequently, to inspire me. So wonderful!
    3297 days ago
    I'm sorry for the burdens you continue to have to carry.

    Losing hope is one of our enemy's major tactics. Don't give in to it... actually, you haven't because God provided someone to encourage you by his comment.

    May God continue to give you the hope that is from Him. May He use you to show His love and care and purpose to those He puts in your path.
    3297 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    You my lovely friend, are one really special brave lady.
    you have so many problems and you are so focused and are doing the very best you can to be as well as you can.
    There are many of us around that think they need to hide it .. it is not the plague it is a preventable mental illness and we can still function with the help of our medication .

    I have depression and am on meds for this.
    No way does this prevent me from living a positive life .
    My daughter also suffers from schizophrenia and she is living a great life and managing very well on her own ..
    These medical problems are nothing to be ashamed of.
    We are getting help and realising that we need to .
    So my dear friend please know that we are here for you when ever you need us ..
    Love and Hugs Susie
    3297 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I am so sorry you have yet another cross to bear :(( Wise man you met. You would do well to listen.. I have always been told I couldn't, shouldn't do that with my condition. I enjoy proving them wrong time and again. I have been called several times on my ability to continue my club manager position. As my job is mostly sedentary, I had to comment I wasn't having brain surgery ;) I got a chuckle and still kept my job. I make believers out of people :)
    You can too! Out of the most important person -YOURSELF!!
    You go girl!
    3297 days ago
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