I looked back at a blog I wrote at the end of July. In it I said, "I'm no longer a complete mess because I need to lose weight, but a complete person that needs to lose weight". I said I was comfortable in my own skin just being me.
Things that make you go...hmmmm.
Is that true today for me? Mostly yes. I'm not a complete mess over the extra weight. Heck I have not a clue as to what I do actually weigh. (I broke up ith my scale in June)
I have some clues...like the fact that I may not be where I want to be but I sure the heck ain't where I used to be! And I've made my relighted Spark goal of getting into my size 8's ahead of time... before the New Year.
Yet, I have to say.....I'm sick and tired of the suck and tuck!! Yep, I said it, I'm sick of sucking my kangaroo pouch and tucking my flabby thighs into anything that makes them look smaller...err...yuck!! I'm over it...so no...I'm not happy in my own (ALL of my own) skin right now.
So there I have it. I am perfectly fine being me. I still love the way I think and the uniqueness about what makes me me, but my literal skin is totally bugging me out!
I can't pitch it like I have the scale. I have to look at it and work with it like a dreaded, irritating co-worker you wanna slap but can't because the boss is their dad.
I'm running, I'm walking, I'm biking, I'm strength training too, but still it's like Boom ~Shack~ a Lacka ~ Boom my thighs are crossing the room! Hey! Get out the way!
It's day 42 of my re~lit Spark journey. This is where I am now. I somehow think I could use a few cries over my big butt and my thunder thighs.
I will get past this and I promise myself to never come back this way again. I will work until I get a promotion....in the maintenance department.