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Hanging Tough and Giving UP- knowing what to do when

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Here's a message I placed on the message board for the Rheumatoid Arthritis Team...I thought it could maybe help others of you who struggle with poor health -- or other things beyond your control:

I was just reading a Spark Article by Dean Anderson that really struck some chords with me. He was talking about making the switch from a diet to a lifestyle (which is something all Spark People have heard about over and over) --but he had some really relevant wisdom in that article: relevant to US ...here is a paragraph from that article:

"The key to both permanent weight loss and feeling satisfied and happy with yourself and your life is to take personal responsibility for what you can control, and let go of everything else.

"Many factors that are out of your control—your genes, age, medical status and previous weight history— will affect your weight and appearance. These factors may determine how much weight you can lose, how quickly you’ll lose it, and how you’ll look and feel when you’ve gone as far as you can go. When you focus too narrowly on the numbers on the scale or what you see in the mirror, you are staking your happiness and satisfaction on things you really can’t control. That pretty much guarantees that you’ll be chronically worried, stressed, and uncomfortable—and more likely than ever to have problems with emotional eating."

It just really struck me--because I THOUGHT a year ago, that I'd made the lifestyle change...but I see from these words that I really hadn't. I had just gripped tighter the things I could control--but hadn't really dealt with the things I COULDN'T control. Then when my last two hip replacements occurred and my health in general started to slip from my grip--and I couldn't control it; I despaired...and I gave up my grip also on the things I COULD control and then lost the whole deal.

I just wanted to share that with you guys here; because there ARE a lot of things about our lives and health that we CAN"T control...and we need to come to the point where we give them up--and stop banging our heads against the wall trying to control them. The really important thing is to have that discernment to determine what can and what can't be controlled by us ; and then to take responsibility for changing the things under our control...and agreeing just to let go of what we can't.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SERENEMOM71
    Thanks for sharing this in a blog, Cynthia!

    emoticon emoticon Amy
    3213 days ago
  • DANMAR1
    Oh so true. When I was so sick from sepsis and almost died recovery was hard because I would start to do exactly what you described. Then I remembered I had the Serenity prayer on a little picture I ask someone to hang it were I could see it from my bed and when I prayed the prayer a peace came.

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    --Reinhold Niebuhr


    3214 days ago
  • LUNADRAGON
    Good thoughts, thank you. Love, hugs, and prayers, Deborah
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3215 days ago
  • KATHYRESTART
    Very wise words. Thanks for sharing.
    3216 days ago
  • GADGETGEEK
    Thank you Cynthia,

    I have always struggled with control and I still do. I am getting better at it though after all these years. I have always tried to live by the motto of "change what you can, accept what you can't and know the difference between the two", but I do still struggle. This would be a good exercise, make a list of what I have in my life and decide on change or let go.

    Thank you again! emoticon
    3216 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    Exactly!!
    Hugs emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3216 days ago
  • REDRUDY5
    emoticon
    3216 days ago
  • CONTENTCHRIS
    Very true words for sure!
    3217 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I have run into so many roadblocks with my health that finding new pathways and focusing on what I can do is old hat. The lesson I learned from Spark People is I can be fit and feeling good as is possible with my condition. But it does involve a lot of patience. Riding out the bad times, the waiting, then taking every little bit of advantage when the times give me a break and are good. But most important, never letting go when everything is piling up..
    Wishing for you some light or Spark you can grasp with all your being.
    3217 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11085420
    emoticon Cynthia!
    I needed to "hear" your post this morning! God is good... He uses us to hone each other and speak to our hearts just where we need it!
    I have been on SP two months now. I have made real progress in establishing some new routines and strengthening many good habits. I need to be grateful for my victories, and know that I am living within my limits... AND THAT IS OK!
    I am going to sit down this evening and really consider what I am holding on to and what I have to let go. The HS and I are going to have a pow-wow!
    Thank you, again!
    Peace be with you!
    emoticon
    3217 days ago
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