The fire is so delightful ...
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Oh, the weather outside REALLY is frightful - we expect a high temp today of 6 degrees above zero. That isn't very warm, but the upside is that I'm sitting by the fireplace - with no pressing errands that need doing, I have plenty of wood (thanks to my big, strong, caring sons who take good care of their mom), I've got some vegetables roasting in the oven, and chicken in the crock pot. The Christmas music is in the background, and I'm enjoying being ME.
The weather is a temporary inconvenience, however the fire, the roasting veggies/chicken, and/or the Christmas music are reminders of my many blessings in life - but the true gift that really surprises me today is that I'm happy with me. My life isn't where I want it to be; my weight isn't where I want it to be; my sense of self isn't where I want it to be. Deep down I feel that nagging, restless, critical self-talk that often sabotages me is still there ... waiting for me to give it an opportunity to jump out and over-shadow this unusual feeling of contentment that I'm basking in.
I know, only too well, what that self-talk wants to say: 1) You really are being kind of lazy today; 2) You really should be doing something productive today; 3) Hey - we (inner voice and me) could bake (and then eat!!) some cookies today; 4) It is just too hard to cut out sweets; 5) You deserve a treat now and then; 6) Look how long you've been at this dieting thing - aren't you tired of it? 7) Look at your weight - you are never going to meet your goal, so why try! 8) Just this once - it won't matter at all; 8) C'mon let's bake cookies... and on and on.
But today I'm determined to remain in control of me. Who knows whether I can maintain this feeling of peace and contentment all day, but I'm going to try!! There are plenty of symbolic reminders today that I'll rely on to help me: 1) The weather reminds me that this is temporary - it will either get better or worse, but it won't stay the same. 2) The fire reminds me of life ... the (good) heat keeps coming out as long as I keep putting (good) wood in. 3) The music reminds me that I can change the station anytime I want to. 4) The vegs/chicken remind me that I do have lots of choices in life. These reminders are significant when juxtaposed against the trials and temptations that I'm faced with on my journey to a healthier/ thinner/more energetic/more content ME. 1) My present condition is temporary - it will either get better or worse, but it won't stay the same. 2) The things that I put into my mind and body will come back to me in kind; 3) Like the radio station, I can change lots of things when something isn't working out as it should. 4) The choice is mine - it doesn't belong to my inner voice, to my friends, to my family, to my neighbors, to my non-friends. The choice is mine alone.
And, just as the fire is so delightful, so is my life - if I choose it to be.