Letting go of old attitudes: Low Self Esteem
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Well I have been just plain stuck since the first of the year. I don't know why? It seems like my wonderful intentions just got up and went. Sometimes I just think I am crazy! How hard is it to stick to a perfect program for one day. I have been really struggling trying to figure out what is wrong with my program.
This evening I went to my OA meeting and we were talking about the 7th step. We read "Our job is to be willing to let go of old attitudes which block humility, such as low self-esteem.... That was my Wake up and smell the coffee sunshine moment!! Even though I have dropped 80+ pounds. I still feel like a failure. I am still wearing clothes that are too large and I refuse to let go of them. I tend to beat myself up about being on the slow road to weight loss and not all ready being at my goal weight. And when I do try the " D" word... I end up starving myself to death or over eating. That is NO life for me.
I have to be patient and I have to be diligent. I have to work my steps and use the tools that are offered through Spark People and the other programs I follow. I know that doing these things WILL make a difference in my life. So tonight I am asking my God to remove this defect: Low self-esteem. The extra weight it causes is too much to bear.
I have to keep telling myself that I am good enough. I am perfect just as I am. I have to live my life as if I am all ready at my goal of 185. I hope that by doing that I will learn to eat like a person who weighs 185. I know I am worth it!!